Cesarean and VBAC Quotes, Letters and Wisdom
Compiled by LLM
This photo empowered a mother as she was
visualizing and then creating her VBAC.
On this page, a wide variety of topics are discussed
by moms and birth professionals who care about
birth, and want to share what they have learned.
Included are mini-birth stories.
Click to go to the desired part of the page.
Letters and Wisdom
- Birth
Works! "Expert" Assessment Doesn't!
Vera is a petite woman who was coerced into
induction due to "caregiver" fears
of a monstrous-size baby (ultrasound revealed
to them a large baby). She ended up getting
a cesarean for- an eight pound baby! Said the
doctor after the surgery- "I am still surprised
at how off I was on the ultrasound. You probably
could have delivered vaginally if we'd left
you alone." Grrr.... An excellent quote
from Vera: "Women who are shorter than
5'5" have given birth to big headed, fat,
healthy babies since the dawn of time. In fact,
most human mothers in history have been less
than 5'5". How do they think all us short
people got here? It sure wasn't by c-section."
- 75 Pregnancy
and Birth Myths Exposed! The women of ICAN
list many of the beliefs they once held true
to heart, but have since abandoned. Including
Myth #2: "Pregnancy and Birth are medical
procedures", and Myth #56: "The OB/midwife
is always right and is only looking out for
my best interests." This includes many
cesarean and VBAC-related myths.
- Birthday
Reminders Jo, who had two VBACs after two
cesareans (birth stories linked from this page)
talks about her son Destin's cesarean on his
fourth birthday: how it harmed him, and how
it had harmed their relationship, which took
two years to fix.
- The
Beauty and Pain of VBAC Stephanie had a
victorious home waterbirth with her second child;
while it fills her with great joy, the pain
is also as great as she realizes how much was
lost in her first child's birth.
- Letter
to My Midwives Chris had a cesarean
she deeply regrets. She writes to her midwives;
demanding answers to her poor care.
- Women
who End Up with Cesareans A mother who has
since had an unassisted birth talks about all
the things she could have done, in retrospect,
that would have averted her cesarean. Although...
it precipitated many profound life chages, and
for that she is grateful.
- How
Many People Should You Have at Your Homebirth?
A wizened VBAC homebirth mother tells her secret
to a successful homebirth- keep things as private
as your heart tells you to.
- C/Section
is Traumatic for Husbands Annette's husband
only understood how traumatic the cesareans
were for her after she had her VBAC after three
previous cesareans. Then he was traumatized
too...
-
Re:
"Are you too posh to push?" A
reply to a newspaper article that talks about
the "joys" of elective cesareans.
("Elective" = no medical reason.)
- "Shooting
the Messenger if You Don't Like the Message"
An OB writes to Midwifery Today with disgust
about an article by Marsden Wagner, MD; calling
it "antagonistic and extremist". Marsden
replies with extraordinary candor and insight
into the OB's letter.
-
Three
Visitors Donna Hinz-Doyle shows how heartbreakingly
dangerous it is to blindly and unquestioningly
trust OBs' decrees through this haunting allegorical
piece.
- Question
to Leilah about Breastfeeding and Cesareans
A student lactation consultant wants to learn
about how women fare while attempting to breastfeed
after cesarean sections. There is only one reliable
source of information to learn about this...
- Reply to
Susan about Nuchal Cords and Breathing Problems
-by Gloria Lemay. The epidural and Pitocin caused
the problems in Susan's VBAC- not the cord around
her baby's neck.
- Mandatory
Cesareans: Birth's Ominous Future? Will
VBACs be outlawed one day?- and vaginal birth
altogether?
- Women
and C-Sections Michele talks about how dead
women can't complain about their c-section pain...
and more women do die because of c-sections.
Also- she's tired of being treated second class-
at work, in birth, as a person- because she
has ovaries.
- "So,
was this informed consent? Joanna's Post-Cesarean
Letters Joanna Ottero, a lawyer, calls her
doctor on the illegal and unethical performing
of her cesarean surgery without first obtaining
her informed consent. link fixed
- Letter
to the Editor about a damaging c-section article
An ICAN chapter leader writes to her local paper
about an article that concluded with "c-sections
are better for the baby". link fixed
- Subject:
All recent topics which have made my BP go up!
Gloria Lemay talks about uterine rupture,
gestational diabetes, and lies said to women
by their obstetrical "caregivers".
link fixed
- Letter
to the British Medical Journal about Doctors,
C-sections and VBACs Debbie Larson tells
her story to online doctors about how deep cesarean
scars really go. Note from Leilah: I can't read
this without getting chills... it is so heartfelt,
and true. link fixed
- Diagnosis:
CPD and FTP An wise rebuttal
to "my doctor said my labor wasn't progressing
because my baby wouldn't fit". link
fixed
- Sinking
the "Sea Section" Moms talk about
a yacht that was seen floating in a fancy marina...
link fixed
Cesarean and VBAC Quote Collections
from Gretchen's
Beautiful Home Waterbirth VBAC is beautiful,
and possible.
Empowering VBACs
Empowering
VBACs Read many quotes about women learning
to trust birth. Updated 3/2/03
- Say
NO to Induction! (and yes to power) Petra
is dashing in for an elective induction. Leilah
says- WAIT!!!! and please don't. This includes
a bit about why it is so important to speak
out against what we know is wrong in birth.
- The
Journey to Birth Jen understands so much
about her cesarean section through attempting
to climb Machu Picchu.
- Some
Thoughts at Six Months Pregnant... Annette
is expecting her fifth child; her first three
were born by cesarean, her fourth in a hospital
VBAC. This birth she is planning to have unassisted.
This includes a family photo, and links to her
other stories.
- Medical
Records Translation: "Leilah's Take"
A failed induction leads to many cruel labels
for Sue to try to get past.
- Pam's
Reply to Leah: let birth, or let doctor-
it's your choice Leah is setting herself
up for another c-section; Pam gives some straight
talk that will hopefully help her have a gentle
birth.
- Leilah's
Response to Chaya Pregnancy journal writer
Chaya
Baskin writes about her rage over her cesarean-
how the operation has consumed her, and how
she wants herself back, finally. She writes
about her deep need for VBAC. Site editor LLM writes back with her own feelings
about how Chaya can make the birth of her dreams
come true- and become that much more powerful
for it.
- Kiley's
VBAC Lists Things to avoid, and things to
give yourself to have the birth of your dreams.
- VBAC
Pregnancy Journals on BirthLove.
- Gloria
Lemay's post to an ob/gyns' list about VBACs
and informed choice
- Dialogue:
What Changes Doctors' Minds About VBAC?
So what was it at the end of the 1980's that
suddenly made doctors "give the okay"
to hospital VBACs?- they where losing too many
"patients" to out-of-hospital birth.
One can only hope a similar trend happens now,
as VBACs become rarer and rarer.
- VBAC
Dialogue between a hoping-for-VBAC mom with
two previous cesareans and a wizened private
birth attendant... link fixed
- How
big is too big for a VBAC??? A
brief description of my (LLM's)
births, and an absolute refute that big babies
contraindicate VBAC. My average VBAC baby weight
is 10 pounds! (I have had 6 VBACs.)
-
My
Choice to Give Birth Unassisted after my Cesarean
(and I'm glad that I did!) Karen writes
about the decision she made to have an unassisted
birth: why she made it, the challengers she
had to face, the privacy she had to maintain-
and how deeply grateful she is now for making
this choice. Included: her husband's initial
reluctance, and how proud he is of her now.
Cesarean Pain, and Comfort
for It
Cesarean
Pain, and Comfort for It Many quotes from
women who care.Updated 8/16/03
NOT SILENCED
"I call the piece 'NOT SILENCED'. It
projects how I felt about having learned about
my non-medically needed, coerced cesarean
section. It displays anger, and pain, yet
shows the determination and strength that
it takes to talk about and heal from such
a submissive procedure. It is also painted
from a dominant perspective as surgeons would
be looking down on this form. I think the
body language that is present in the work
goes a long way in showing this characters
inner feelings about what is being done to
her body. I also think that it encompasses
the loss of sexuality that a woman can sometimes
feels after a CS. You will notice that beside
the form of a woman there is no details in
the vaginal area as if it does not exsist
and has no purpose." -Jo
Wheeler
The
Shirt Jaya's maternity shirt was the only
thing she possessed that witnessed her wounding
cesarean; she dug out her baby things, and maternity
clothes today. How do you think the shirt made
her feel?
My
deepest pain, my deepest love Kiley Myers'
first two boys were born by cesarean. Her third
boy was born in her bathtub at home... she loves
them all powerfully, but loves the naturally-born
one in a different, more relaxed way than the
others. Says Kiley about her deepest pain-
"Coming home with a belly full of pain,
and trying to enjoy my newborn babies wasn't
easy. I had to fight to breastfeed them, a fight
that didn't go well with my first, and went
better with my second. I had to fight real hard
just to get my second son out of the hospital.
I became a fierce mother bear, protecting them.
"Things are different with Charlie and
me. Charlie was born gently and peacefully at
home, in my bathtub. His brothers were napping/playing
nearby. His dad was watching me, supplying me
with beverages and encouragement. There were
no strangers. There was no drama, no cutting,
nothing bad at all. It was all very peaceful
and normal. .... There is an easy good humor
that flows between us. The mamma bear is farther
beneath the surface, I am more myself with him,
less on guard. It's not that I love him more,
but I love him different."
Krista's
Response Regarding Cesarean "Birth"
Her friend relays to Krista the incompatible
words in the term "cesarean birth".
But does Krista, who has indeed had a child exit
her body through an abdominal incision, consider
her cesarean a birth?
From Donna's
Journal: Birthing
Sweet: A Fairy Tale Two months before her
"due date", Donna wrote a parable that
would prove highly premonitory of her upcoming
cesarean "birth": her initial feelings
of openness and trust, and then bitter betrayal
and violation. See as well- "At
least you have a healthy baby".
Coming
to Terms with Feelings of Failure Melissa
finally understands that her cesarean was not
her fault- it cannot be; the victim of an assault
should never be blamed, it is the motive of the
attacker that must remain suspect.
Letter
to My Daughter Angela writes with love and
from the heart to her daughter as a way to connect
with her pain. (Get out your handkerchiefs before
you read this...)
Krista's
Letter to Her Midwife Krista is angry
about the cesarean that her midwife did little
to prevent. She is outraged and in deep grief
over all that she and her baby have lost in their
birth.
Jaya's
Journal Entry on Grief Jaya shares her endless,
comfortless sadness over her daughter's surgical
entrance into the world.
Her Heart
Breaks for the Lonely, Sad, Hurt Babies Ibone
and Gretchen talk about the pain that babies go
through after their hospital births- and how no
one seems to care. Says Gretchen: "If it
really was 'all about the baby', most women wouldn't
be as hurt as they are."
Entry
11: Labor Day Stephanie Coleman describes
in her journal
her process of healing from her cesarean: how
she relived her birth, and what she would have
changed- and the rich healing this brought.
The
Pain of Cesarean A mother who had two cesareans-
then an unassisted home VBAC- writes about how
deeply she was hurt by her sections; and how healing
VBAC is.
Lisa's
Story Lisa's first cesarean was for breech
presentation; her second because of a failed induction.
Lisa wonders about her abilities to give birth
now. This includes a reply by LLM.
A
Waterbirth of the Heart A mother who just
had her fifth cesarean learns it's not too late
to have the birth of her dreams- with her new
baby, in her bathtub.
Gently
Helping One's Pelvic Area Heal from Cesarean Section
Massage and love work wonders.
A Medical
Record that Reads like a Cruel Novel A woman
is blamed for her poor obstetrical care.
Stephanie
Coleman's Journal Stephanie is a mother who
had a homebirth after a cesarean in October, 2001.
Her
journal documents her path to healing her cesarean
pain.
Dealing with "at
least you have a healthy baby"
Giving Birth Matters Julie's first birth was
violently interventionist; her second and third
children were born at home. Does her eldest child
feel saddened by her mother's retelling of her
own birth?- and does Julie still mourn her lost
sacredness?
Being
Born Right (a mother birthing strong) -by
LLM. It is possible to love one's
children completely and passionately- yet not
love the way they were born. This column is about
my grief for lost beauty, as well as relishing
the sacredness that homebirth has brought me.
Included: just how the unassisted birth of my
seventh child most likely saved his life.
Birth
Renewal Jamie Stouffer never would say "at
least you have a healthy baby"- in fact,
she helps women through drawing and talking to
communicate with their own deep pain.
A
Letter of Actualization Jenny found amazing
ignorance and lack of compassion when she asked
her family and friends for help with dealing with
her deep cesarean pain. Here is the letter she
wrote- but didn't send- that communicated her
anger at their insensitivity.
What
is a Cut? There is poetry in her anger...
You Should
Be Grateful Empowering wisdom from Gretchen
Humphries.
Bliss, Rape,
Love, Hate: which for you is best- in Birth
and in Sex? Giving birth and making love are
both beautiful life processes deserving of the
utmost in gentleness and sweetness. Rape must
never be permitted. This was written in response
to the wounding statement- "at least you
have a healthy baby!"
"But
you have a healthy baby!" Women hear
this so often- but it is no consolation to suffering
from a brutal birth. In fact- it may not even
be true.
At Least
You Have Healthy Baby This is an amazing and
profound picture that sums it all up perfectly.
One's birth determines one's wellbeing later
in life. A baby may look healthy after
a brutal birth, but carry pain deep inside.
This photo is from Pablo
Felix's Birth Story- this baby weighed twelve
pounds at birth- and was born at home in the water.
VBAC is beautiful, and possible.
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