Response from Stephanie Coleman
Read Stephanie's stories and articles here.
I was a much different person before my VBAC.
I did a ton of research and reading of some good
non-mainstream books in order to prepare myself
for my VBAC. I read books like 'Silent Knife'
by Nancy Wainer Cohen, 'The VBAC Companion' by
Diana Korte, 'The Thinking Woman's Guide to a
Better Birth' by Henci Goer and 'Birthing From
Within' by Pam England. Those are just a few of
the many that I recommend.
Aside from the reading, there are two things
I did for myself that helped me to change my thinking.
This may not work for everyone. Each woman is
different. But, hopefully, this will help someone
preparing for a VBAC. The first thing I did is:
Learn to believe in my body's ability to give
birth vaginally.
The second is:
I immersed myself in other women's VBAC experiences
and filled myself with positive visualizations.
I believe that a woman who has had a cesarean
section needs to make a change in thinking in
order to prepare fully for a VBAC. No one is going
to give you the VBAC- you have to take it for
yourself and make it happen. Not just for yourself,
but for the health and well-being of your baby
as well. This requires either a change in attitude
or a change in our beliefs about birth.
In order to help me learn to have faith in my
body's ability to give birth, I made a list of
all the negative and horrible things that happened
because of my cesarean. I wrote them all down.
Then, I finally wrote the birth story of my daughter
in my journal. I cried about it for the first
time. I mourned what could have been. I began
to heal. I burned the paper with the negative
list.
Then, I made a new list of all the things that
happened because of the cesarean that were positive.
I really felt that this brought a new perspective
to my daughter's birth and helped me to see how
far I had come since then. I was also able to
feel a sense of gratitude and peace- more so than
I had in a long time. I also read "Birthing
From Within" which helped me to feel better
about my body. I created a poster with a drawing
of a woman (myself) giving birth. The woman is
standing up, squatting, with wild and crazy hair
and a baby is crowning. She has a warrior woman
look on her face and she is happy. At the top
of the drawing, I wrote these words: "My
Body Is Perfect For Birthing!"
I cut out magazine clippings of words that were
positive, with pictures of breastfeeding babies
and women giving birth in awareness. I glued them
to the poster. I hung the poster on my bedroom
wall where I could see it every night before I
went to bed and every morning when I first woke
up. Seeing those pictures and repeating those
words every night and morning really helped me
to change my beliefs in a subtle way.
I began to say "My body is perfect for birthing"
in my head during the day and I always read it
when I came into my bedroom. The suggestions we
give to our subconcious mind is very powerful.
I fully believe that my body is perfect for birthing.
I believed it then too. I fully believe that is
why I had a VBAC. I believed in myself. I developed
trust in birth and in my own body to give birth.
These things are essential to normal birthing.
I also read numerous VBAC stories of women who
had done it. Stories in books like "Silent
Knife", "The VBAC Experience" and
"The VBAC Companion" and stories from
women on the internet. I read tons and tons of
VBAC stories. I read them all and cried and read
some more. I kept reading and I had a burning
desire to someday have my story be read by someone
else whom it could help them have a VBAC. Our
stories need to be shared with one another. We
need to learn from eachother. Facts and book knowledge
is great. But our own personal experiences can
change lives. Many VBAC women shared their stories
with me and helped to change my life and the lives
of my children.
I believe in birth. I believe in you. Believe
in yourself. Do the work that is needed. For every
woman that will be different. But, find your way.
Don't give away your power to someone else. Take
it and make of it a beautiful birth.
With love,
Stephanie Coleman
Mama to Hannah, 2yrs old, cesarean section
and Michael, 8 months, home birth after cesarean
Chapter Leader, ICAN of North Texas
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