Childbirth Quotes by Gloria Lemay
Compiled by LLM
Wisdom gleaned from private birth attendant Gloria
Lemay about a wide variety of pregnancy and childbirth
topics. Click to go to the desired quote.
For an index of Gloria's articles, go to this
page. Also see the Natural
Health and Healing page.
The Cervix and Assessing
Dilation in Centimeteres
The cervix in a pregnant woman feels like your
lips puckered up into a kiss. On a non-pregnant
woman it feels like the end of your nose. When
it is dilating, one finger slips into the middle
of the cervix easily. As the dilation progresses
the inside of that hole becomes more like a taught
elastic band, and by 5 cms dilated (5 fingerwidths)
it is a perfect rubbery circle, like one of those
Mason jar rings that you use for canning, and
about that thick.
"If you take a dressmaking tape measure
and start measuring circles (the top of your shampoo
bottle, the bottom of a coffee mug, etc.), you'll
get familiar with the diameters in centimetres.
One centimetre (about half an inch) is the diameter
of your fingertip. Therefore, if you can insert
one finger in the opening of the cervix- you're
1 cm dilated. Two fingers loosely together is
approx 3 cms, 5 cms is the two fingers parted
and the outer edge touching the rubbery edges
of the cervix, 9cms you just have a small band
of the rubbery edge around the baby's descending
head, 10 cms is no cervix felt along the edges.
"Get practise by going out to a rosebush.
The tight buds are a closed (0 cm) cervix, fully
bloomed roses are 10 cms from edge to edge when
you make your fingers do 'the splits'. I especially
think it's a good and empowering thing for a woman
to check her own cervix for dilation. This is
not rocket science, and you hardly need a medical
degree or years of training to do it. Your vagina
is a lot like your nose- other people may do harm
if they put fingers or instruments up there but
you have a greater sensitivity and will not do
yourself any harm." Also see- How
to check your own cervix.
To suture or not
Also see Healing
after Tearing in a Homebirth.
Question: "What is your experience
with NOT suturing second degree tears (at least
not very deep ones) What about labial tears?"
"The thinking on suturing tears seems to
change as time goes by. Here are a couple of things
to think about.
"1. Having a foreign body (suture material)
that the body has to fight can interfere with
proper healing and produce a lot of pain. Think
about having a splinter in your finger. Your finger
gets swollen and inflamed in order to surround
and push the sliver out. Suture material is an
irritant so consider that before making the decision
that a tear needs stitches.
"2. The stitches don't fix the tear, they
merely bring the two edges together so the healing
can happen- the tissue approximates and knits
itself together. I think about ear piercings-
you have to wear earrings all the time or the
holes will heal over if left empty too long. Therefore,
if you have a tear that comes together in a nice
match when the woman brings her knees together,
it will heal fine with bedrest.
"3. I believe that blood is Nature's repair
agent for torn tissue so don't be washing and
cleaning too much. Also, in Ayurvedic medicine,
urine is used as a treatment for skin abrasions.
It could be that Nature was pretty smart to make
our torn vulvas burn when urine passes over. Usually
that "burning during peeing" only is
there for the first 24 hours so the healing happens
quite quickly.
"4. If there is a tear where one flap of
skin definitely goes off in a direction that it
shouldn't, crazy glue (dermabond) can be used
in minute amounts to bring the flap to where it
should be for 24 hours. Caution: don't get it
anywhere near the anus."
Re: bleeding to death
in homebirth
Comment: "There were nurse midwives
who did births outside of the hospital and there
were a number of girls who bled to death."
"Dear Steve, this is such a lie and it,
of course, would stop most parents from having
a homebirth. When I was pregnant 26 yrs ago, my
obstetrician (temporarily) said to me "Gloria,
if you knew the statistics on homebirths in the
United States, you would never entertain such
a dangerous idea." That would have stopped
me but my husband, who was a physician, was sitting
there. He said "Well, Dr., do you mean the
statistics that include the poor black pop. in
the south who only have laundry starch to eat?"
Her face went all red because she had been caught
twisting the truth. I think that's when I made
my break with the church of modern medicine for
life.
"I have worked in the childbirth field for
26 years and I receive publications and now email
from all over the globe on midwifery and homebirth.
As well, I keep a very close eye on my own region.
Every baby death involving a mw is splashed all
over the papers, so you can imagine what would
happen if there was a maternal death. I have heard
of two maternal deaths in Washington state due
to high blood pressure problems in women having
home births.
"I have only ever heard of one woman dying
from bleeding at a homebirth and that story was
from a town called Chilliwack about an hour's
drive east of my home. The story was that the
birthing woman was 19 years old., healthy, living
in a rural farming area, first baby, and a member
of a religious sect that did not believe in using
drs. Her birth was assisted by her husband and
the two grandmothers of the new baby. There was
a coroner's inquest into the death of the mother.
As far as I can tell, the young woman was very
tired after giving birth and the grandmothers
took the baby out of the room to let her sleep
(BIG MISTAKE). The newborn having skin contact
with the mother, even when sound asleep, sends
the messages to the brain to stop the bleeding.
The baby and mother must be velcroed together
after the birth. The grandmothers did not think
to check the bleeding (something a good midwife
will do as a routine in the 4 hours of the postpartum
watch). Four hours after the birth, they called
911 and the young woman could not be revived.
"It's important to know that hemorrhage
is not something that takes a woman's life within
the first hour. If someone is bleeding too heavily,
most midwives carry pitocin to inject into the
thigh muscle. If that doesn't do the trick, there
is time to transport and the mother will do well
with just IV fluids, bedrest, and iron supplements.
In 1000 births I have only had two clients who
needed a transfusion.
"An Ontario midwife tells a story from her
work in rural India. She had a woman who was very
poor, very poorly nourished and pregnant. The
woman gave birth to the baby and then had very
heavy bleeding. Nothing the mw did to stop it
worked and so she decided she had better "transport".
Transport consisted of draping the woman over
the back of a donkey and then walking for two
hours to the local medical clinic. Believe it
or not, the woman lived.
"Here's a recipe for a post baby tea that
helps the uterus expel the placenta easily and
rejuvenates the woman. It is delicious, too.
1 T. Shepherd's Purse herb
1 T. Cramp Bark
1 Broken Cinnamon Stick
"Put these ingredients in a large tea pot
and pour boiling water over. Let it steep for
about 40 mins (we make this at the beginning of
the pushing stage) Have a mug ready with a little
maple syrup for sweetener (hey, I'm Canadian).
You'll need a tea strainer (sieve) and a bendable
drinking straw, too. The mother should be offered
the tea as soon as the baby is in her arms. Most
women love it and ask for several cups.
"No mention should be made about the placenta
for a full 30 minutes, by the clock. Most women,
at exactly 30 mins feel cramping which they push
with and the placenta comes easily at that time.
After the baby's born, don't make phone calls
or otherwise disturb the "birth flow"
until the placenta is born."
Question for Gloria about
Umbilical Cord Veins
"My friend is 6 months pregnant, her baby
was diagnosed with "missing one of the
three veins or tubes" of the umbilical
cord. I would like to know if there are any
problems for the baby? what can the woman do
right now? It's said that the baby might suffer
from heart disease or liver disease, is it true?"
"First of all, never trust an ultrasound.
It is very difficult to determine a single artery
umbilical cord outside the womb, after 40 weeks
of gestation, in a good light and with it right
up close to your face; so, we know it must be
hard to see it on a fuzzy TV screen from an audio
transmission from the core of a woman's body in
the sixth month of pregnancy.
"Secondly, I'd like to share my experience
with a 2 vessel cord. There should be 3 vessels
in the umbilical cord- 2 arteries and a vein.
What it says about single artery cords in most
midwifery texts is "If there are only 2 umbilical
cord vessels, notify the pediatrician right away
and have the baby checked." Most books do
not tell you what to worry about. I've only seen
one case of single artery in 25 years of attending
births but I knew what to do when I found it-
call the pediatrician. When I did, the friendly
pediatrician said "I don't know what that
means... could you go to the Library at the hospital
and look it up and tell me?"
"Well, so much for that source of illumination!
What the books at the medical library said (who
knew there would be one about an inch and a half
thick entitled "The Human Placenta"?
what could there possibly be to say about a placenta
that could take up that many pages?) was that
the concern with single umbilical artery is that
there could be a kidney problem.
"I then decided to take my query to the
Pathologist at the hospital and see what he had
to say about it. (I'm not associated with the
hospital but I do find some departments very helpful
and not weird at all about home birth attendants).
The Pathologists are the loneliest people in the
hospital. They work alone and no one wants to
visit them in case there is a body laid out on
their cold marble slab. The pathologist's first
question to me was "How much did the baby
weigh?" When I told him 8 lbs, he sent me
home to get the placenta because he wanted to
check it himself. He said it was unlikely that
I was right that there was only one artery since
a baby would be much smaller (4# range) if it
had a single artery.
"When he cut the cord and looked closely,
he said "Yes, it does seem to be only one
artery but I think that what has happened is that
the two arteries simply grew together". That
boy is now 14 years old and has never had any
kidney problems or other health concerns.
"I believe that it is sheer foolishness
to worry your friend this way so early in her
pregnancy. If the fundal height of her uterus
is normal, she should relax and enjoy her pregnancy
knowing that there are far more errors on ultrasound
than truly useful information that can make a
difference in the health of a baby."
"Assisting" Power,
or "Helping" to Manipulate It
"Most of the people involved in caring for
birthing women have a "lifelong quest to
help". For the first four years I worked
in childbirth I wanted so much to help people
and nothing seemed to work. Often, people resented
me, insulted me, didn't pay me and the births
were awful.
"Then, I had an opportunity to take a weekend
course that changed it all permanently called
the Landmark Forum. During that course, from different
angles I began to realize that "helping"
comes from my arrogance. A feeling that others
are less magnificent than I am, and need me to
"fix" their problems. By the way, I
did a lot of advice giving to family and friends,
too, which no one ever acted on. What I distinguished
in this course was the fine line between "assisting"
others and "helping" others.
"Assisting comes from a belief that others
are capable and able. I got way better results
making a difference when I let go of my arrogant
attitude. I learned to listen (still on the journey
to perfect that and know it will take a lifetime)
and to listen on the side of people being great.
I have seen birthing women overcome odds that
seemed impossible. My mantra is "Never underestimate
the power of a birthing woman." Of course
this doesn't mean ignore obstructed birth or pathology.
It means "expect the normal and be prepared
for all else".
"One of my clients was a young Aboriginal
woman who had had a cesarean with her first birth.
She was having a terrible time coping at 3 cms
and asked me to take her to the hospital for medication.
All commitment to a home VBAC had left her mind
and she wanted major help. I suggested we go for
a walk before we made that move. Coming back from
the walk outside she said to me "You know
Gloria, my trouble is that I never grew up. I
can't do this because I'm not mature enough to
face this kind of pain." I told her "You
know, Anna, I never grew up till I was 29 years
old having my first homebirth either. Today is
the day for you to grow up."
"She went in the house, settled down to
her work and birthed her baby. The first thing
she said when it was over was "I need a cigarette."
Oh, I know we don't want second hand smoke around
a newborn but we were happy to get her a celebratory
cigarette after what she'd done.
"This is what I learned from that course:
to be a little less righteous, a little less helpful,
a lot more trusting in the strength of others,
and a lot more effective at realizing my dream
of making a difference with the people I love."
from Lea's
Birth- A Case of Undisturbed Birth
Calming 'cord around the neck' fears
Also go here.
"So many women are told the baby didn't
breathe or wasn't pink because of the umbilical
cord being around the neck. It is a lie. We don't
see this at unmedicated home births and I have
attended births where the cord was tight and up
to five times around the neck.
"It is the 'smart' babies who put their
cords around the neck. This keeps the cord from
prolapsing and keeps it safely out of trouble.
You can only get the cord around the neck if it
is nice and long. In the book 'Waterbirth' by
obstetrician Yehudi Gordon and exercise instructor
Janice Belaskas, Dr. Gordon tells practitioners
not to even feel for the cord and to just let
the baby come out in the water tub and then unwrap
it. This, of course, would apply on land, too.
In more than 800 births, I have never had a problem
with a baby's cord around the neck where I had
to cut it or do anything fancy. No worries."
Moms taking lots of time
to birth babies with big heads
"I think about the long pushing stages I
have had with first time moms, and then the baby
is born with an extra big head:
1. the room is darkened and the mother has very
little sensory input (i.e. no one talking to her,
examining her, doppling her)
2. she pushes to her own sensations. Often the
sensations are irregular and sometimes she can
just breathe through and not bear down.
3. she uses the toilet and drinks diluted juice-
juice is offered with a straw, kept by the mother
until she sees it, and decides she wants it
4. when the baby comes it is received by the
father and there is not a lot of drama about the
midwife being so clever. The mother knows she
listened to her own body's rhythms and comes away
trusting her baby and herself. Next birth she
enters the process with self-confidence no matter
where she lives and her next midwives will not
be able to convince her to do all this midwifery
on her."
Also see: Pushing
for Primips (first time moms)
Optimal Use of Language
("Speech Magic") to Assist our Clients
"The only way we can undo the mass psychosis
about childbirth in North America is to invent
new language and new images. We midwives must
make a conscious and disciplined effort to become
"speech magicians."
I train my clients to ask for what they WANT
rather than what they DON'T want. For example,
the client doesn't want an episiotomy = the client
wants an intact perineum. Or a client says "I
don't want my baby taken away from me! = the client
says "I want my baby 'Velcroed' to my skin
from the moment he/she is born." All my notes
in my chart are what the client WANTS, not the
"Don't" instructions. This way, I am
constantly picturing the image of what is wanted
and so are my assistants. When everyone is picturing
"Baby Velcroed to skin" then it happens.
This technique is particularly effective at hospital
births.
Another good way to create what you want with
doctors is by using "indirect" hypnosis.
For example, the doctor is starting to fidget
as the baby's head distends the perineum. He reaches
for the scissors and you know he's getting ready
to do an episiotomy. So you speak to your client,
not to him by saying something like "Linda,
you are stretching beautifully; there's lots of
space for your baby to come through. Everything
is healthy and normal -- there's lots of room
to stretch even wider. Breathe some oxygen down
to your muscles." Everything you are saying
to your client is really intended to chill out
the doctor. Speaking to him directly is less effective
(it makes him more resistant to your message)
than speaking obliquely to him through your words
to the mother. Once the doctor starts taking deep
oxygenated breaths down to his muscles, you'll
see him put down the scissors.
You'll notice that Dr. Odent does word magic,
too. He talks about the "fetus ejection reflex"
and the "ancient reptilian brain." I
don't think anyone has ever located these things
in the physical universe, but they are most useful
concepts and ways of languaging that lead to better
births for women and help undo some of the fear-based
pseudo science that passes for obstetrics."
Don't Cut the Cord for the
Meconium Stained Baby!!!
Comment:
"My baby was born in the hospital. He
only had an Apgar of 2. He had heavy meconium
staining, including some really thick brown
stuff that they couldn't get out with the bulbs-
they had to do deep suctioning to get all the
meconium out."
Response:
"The baby only had a heartbeat for the first
Apgar; now of all the things on the Apgar that
is the best one to have. It's hard to have pink
skin tone when you are covered in green fluid.
Unfortunately at the hospital the first thing
they do is cut the cord and this forces the lungs
to draw in the meconium that is really unsuctionable
in the lungs (they can only go into the nose,
mouth and trachea). If the heart is pumping well,
oxygen will keep circulating to the baby and the
baby will have a chance to cough, sputter, gag,
phlegm up some gunk- all the things we do automatically
if we go face down in a mud puddle to clear our
airways and lungs. The last thing to do is cut
off the oxygen supply; which is exactly what happens
in hospital in order to 'help' the floppy, meconium
stained baby."
For more about meconium, go here.
For an unassisted birth story with meconium staning,
go here.
No
Benefit Seen With Suctioning During Birth of Meconium-Stained
Neonates "A single study back in the
1970s was the foundation for the recommendation
of suctioning when meconium staining is evident...but
the practice is 'widespread- and it's done around
the world.' However, the current study shows that
suctioning before the shoulders are delivered
does not prevent meconium aspiration or its complications."
Bonding with baby after
a cesarean
"It is very difficult for a mother to reach
out and love her child when she doesn't feel well
herself. Parenting is the hardest thing I have
ever done and I had great births. I remember thinking
I'd like to throw my screaming 3 day old daughter
out the window when I had sore nipples. I think
that's what makes me such a passionate advocate
for vaginal birth. I can't imagine what recovering
from major abdominal surgery would have made me
think (or do, for that matter.) The cost to society
of this 20% plus cesarean rate is enormous. I
am sure that post surgery parents are all fragile
and not doing very well at coping. When I meet
women at LLL who are still breastfeeding a 4 y.o.
that was born by cesarean I always say 'You are
my hero.'"
Is breaking the baby's clavicle
a good way to release a "stuck" baby?
"People talk about breaking the clavicle
as a technique but it's not true. Breaking the
clavicle is a finding after the fact when a baby
has had a rough time being wrestled out of the
birth canal. It's like having a toothpick embedded
in a pound of butter... if you grasped the butter
at both ends and tried to squeeze it towards the
center to break the toothpick, it would be pretty
difficult. Babies are slippery and squooshy like
butter and are pretty difficult to get a good
handhold on.
When you read textbooks about maneuvers for freeing
the baby with stuck shoulders, they all sound
pretty reasonable and orderly. Being in a hospital
room or home setting when this occurs is quite
a different matter. Usually, the adrenaline level
goes through the roof and a lot of yelling, cursing,
and flailing around happens. After the fact, people
notice that the baby is not moving one arm or
has pain somewhere and, then, they figure out
what is broken. It's called the 'nightmare of
obstetrics' for a reason."
What came after the afterbirth?
"Dear Gloria, two months ago I had an
homebirth with my third child. A few hours after
my baby's placenta was born, I had severe cramping
pains in my uterus. When I went to the toilet,
out came something that was long and slippery,
it didn't look like a clot, but like an organ.
I'm wondering what that may have been? After
it came out my pain went away."
Gloria responds: "First thing about
this is to notice how beautifully a woman's body
works to make sure she is around a long time to
feed her baby. In the two hours after your baby
was born and you were oblivious to everything
but your newborn, your body was forming this long,
compacted clot. Yes, it was a clot and they can
be very large and dense. This clot had the ability
to stop the large uterine arteries at the placenta
site from bleeding profusely. Meanwhile, the uterus
was knotting itself up and compacting down (also
to provide Nature's living ligature to stop bleeding).
At the right time, you were alerted by the pains
to expel the clot because then the uterus could
work even better at compacting itself with that
large mass expelled.
It's similar to the role that feces has in our
intestines. It's necessary to have the feces in
the intestines to keep the tubing open and performing
peristalsis but then there comes a point where
the job is done and the cramping begins and then
we know it's time to eliminate. By following the
instinctive need to eliminate, we relieve the
cramping and feel better afterward. If we trust
the process within our intestines, we can probably
trust it in the uterus as well."
Who to invite to your birth
"Mostly, my experience is that kids are
asleep when mom's doing most of her dilating.
Then, someone wakes them up as the head appears.
I think the people in your household who help
you and love you every day in growing the baby
are the right ones to be there when you're birthing
the baby. It's those older, worried, birth-shocked
female family members that I wouldn't want staring
at my bottom as I'm pushing a baby out.
Five years ago I attended a birth for a young
woman who had a lot of female family and friends
invited for various reasons (one to take the video,
one to make food, one to care for her 6 y.o. daughter,
etc). A couple of them were fine but mostly they
were just a big fat suck of the energy and there
for 'entertainment'. They limply attempted to
get the video handled and would not listen to
my pleas for someone to just go to bed so we would
have someone rested once the baby was out. Consequently,
I was up all night and practically in a walking
coma the next day trying to look after Mom and
babe while all these spectators snored in bed
after the 5:00 a.m. miracle show they watched.
I'll bet money they don't come back to help out
in the next few days either.
I think it's hard to find people who are truly
'in service' at births. Most people (medical types
included) are so caught up in their own needs,
they can't understand that this is THE most important
event this woman and baby will ever have. I really
caution all mothers to be to THINK, THINK, THINK
when inviting guests to their birth. One of the
sweet things at this birth was the 6 year-old.
daughter who said to me the next morning.'Thank
you for taking such good care of my mommy, Gloria,
because if you hadn't been here I would have had
a lot of work to do'. It's a bit sad, really,
that she would realize that the support was not
there from anyone else."
Women of the Earth, Take
Back Your Birth
"There are two examples that I know of aboriginal
peoples taking birth back from the white man's
governments. The aboriginal women of Australia
told the government there that they would STOP
shipping their young women out of the bush to
give birth and that they would take full responsibility
for any adverse outcomes. This inspired the Inuit
women in Northern Canada to do the same. The government
was outraged- "You will have baby and maternal
deaths if you don't fly the women to hospitals
in the south!" The Inuit communities said
"We are willing to include that because sending
birth out of our villages is killing our society.
We need to birth with our people in order to survive
as a culture and we will take responsibility for
any losses."
Now there are birth centres with midwives in
Rankin Inlet and other communities in Northern
Canada and the old grandmothers teach the nurses
and young midwives the ways of their people from
generations back. These women stopped asking,
pleading and reasoning. They TOLD the government
how it was going to be and their tribal councils
backed them up.
Here is one story: An American nurse midwife
was working in a birth centre at Rankin Inlet
on the Hudson Bay. Her job was to teach the Inuit
midwives and empower them to take birth back into
their own communities. A pregnant Inuit woman
came into the centre and gave birth beautifully
to her first baby with her old grandmother beside
her through it all.
After the birth, the placenta did not come out
and the midwives waited for more than an hour.
The nurse/midwife explained to the mother and
the aboriginal midwife that they would need to
give her a shot of oxytocin to help get the placenta
out. The two attendants left the room to go to
the infirmary to get the medication and the old
grandmother asked her granddaughter in Inuit what
was going on... she spoke no English.
When the granddaughter explained that her placenta
was retained and needed to come out, the old grandmother
stood up and shoved two fingers into the back
of her granddaughter's throat. The young woman
gagged and the placenta plopped out before the
others returned to the room."
Gloria's post to an ob/gyns'
list about VBACs and informed choice
July l999
"Here's some views of surgical birth from
across the pond:
"Dr. Dermot W. McDonald of the National
Maternity Hospital in Dublin Ireland suggested
that the medicolegal pressure to perform a cesarean
may abate only when mothers begin suing physicians
for assault, alleging that they were not given
fully informed consent...
"'If one went to the extreme of giving
the patient the full details of mortality and
morbidity related to cesarean section, most
of them would get up and go out and have their
baby under a tree,' [Dr. McDonald] said."
[Neel J. Medicolegal pressure, MDs' lack of
patience cited in cesarean 'epidemic.' Ob.Gyn.
News Vol 22 No 10]
Irish physician McDonald's remarks accord with
the 1990 findings of British research statistician
Marjorie Tew who concluded that the British
maternity system is run by obstetricians who
"withhold and pervert knowledge in order
to maintain public ignorance and delusion."
[Tew M. Safer childbirth? A critical history
of maternity care. London: Chapman and Hall,
1990.]
"I wonder if anyone knows if the Canadian
Society of OB/GYNs are considering the 'immediate'
guide line? There was a Consensus Conference on
Cesarean Birth in Canada at Niagara on the Lake,
I believe, in l983 or 84. At that meeting the
obstetricians were discussing the safety of 'allowing'
VBACs in small town hospitals and the general
thinking was to forbid it and tell women from
small towns that they would have to be in a tertiary
care centre for their births if they wanted VBAC.
Near the end of the conference, a VBAC advocate
from Vancouver showed up at the Conference and
asked if she could speak to the docs and show
some slides. She proceeded to show slides of a
woman giving birth to a 12 lb boy at a home birth.
The woman had had two previous cesareans for l0
and l0.5 lb babies. When she started leaking amniotic
fluid, she boarded an Air Canada flight and flew
from Calgary, Alberta to Vancouver, BC. She had
been unable to find a physician or a midwife in
Alberta to help her with her birth. When she called
me she said 'If you won't help me to have a VBAC,
I will stay home and have the baby myself. I know
if I have another surgery, I will die.' I took
her on.
She gave birth in my bed after a completely painless
labour to this big kid and returned home on the
plane 3 days later. When the Canadian obstetricians
heard the story, the tone of the conference completely
changed. The recommendations were to make VBAC
available where women lived. The press releases
after quoted the Drs. saying 'If we don't expand
our policies, these women will go to dangerous
lengths to get their births'. I think if I was
an American OB/GYN I would be rallying my fellow
obs to get rid of that guideline [not allowing
most VBACs] instead of acquiescing to it. If it's
not practical, why keep it? It will only make
homebirth midwives busier."
Violent, bloody membrane
stripping
Membrane stripping is when the midwife or
OB "sweeps" the bag of waters away from
the cervix; this is very painful for the mother
and is done to cause birth to happen prematurely.
It is often done without the mothers' consent.
"I have attended more than 800 women in
the last 23 years and have never done this to
another human being and never will.
I often think that, if doctors or others were
wrenching around on the inside of a healthy, young
man's foreskin in a way that left the gloves bloodied,
there would be a national outcry and assault charges
would be laid. Why it's OK to do the same thing
to healthy women is beyond me."
Question: "HOW can
the OBs tell what type of pelvis you have?!"
"How could your OB tell what kind of pelvis
you have? Welllllllllll, you got on a table and
let him into a secret, dark place with his two
fingers and then he began hallucinating about
what he thought he was feeling and, since he'd
just as soon you didn't have a vaginal birth after
a cesaran, or a birth he doesn't have time to
attend, he came out with a type of pelvis that
isn't the 'best' for a vaginal birth.
Now, you have two questions to ask that doctor:
1. If I have such a bad shape of pelvis, how
come the women in my family have been giving birth
vaginally to babies generation after generation
after generation back to the very beginning of
time with the exception of the past 30 years when
you doctors fancied up the antibiotics and oxytocin
administration methods?
2. What shape dick do you have, Doc? Does it
veer to the right, left, point down, up? Exactly
how small is it?
Language in birth is a passionate subject for
me. Everything arises out of language. In the
vocabulary of the medical profession there are
only two types of female pelvis: adequate and
contracted.
In the vocabulary of the midwife there are also
only two types of female pelvis: ample and 'you
could get a pony through there!'
Pelvises are all in the eye of the beholder."
-Also see by Gloria Pelvises
I have Known and Loved.
Who delivers babies?
Gloria responds to a comment about a baby
she "delivered" at home:
"I wasn't doing any delivering. The mother
and father were having a baby, she gave birth,
he caught and the baby got his little self born.
If I had arrived 15 minutes later, they would
have done just fine because they grew a healthy
baby and they didn't have any drugs. I go to birth
after birth and people seem to like me to stand
there and then they pay me a lot of money but
I know they could have done it themselves. I don't
deliver anyone."
A cervix isn't made "ripe"
by induction drugs or Foley catheters
"I recommend using caution with language
and question the use of the word 'ripening' to
describe the process of irritating the mother's
body by inserting a foreign object. This should
properly and descriptively be called 'Foley catheter
invasion and irritation'. Prostaglandin gels applied
to the cervix should be more honestly described
as 'chemically altering the consistency of the
cervix'. THERE IS NO RIPENING HAPPENING WITH EITHER
OF THESE METHODS.
Midwives have used the term ripening to describe
a NATURAL process of the cervical changes of late
pregnancy. We take a word from the plant kingdom
because it is similar to the slow, harmonious
process that happens to a plum as it turns from
green and hard to darker and darker purple, soft,
mushy and sweet. If one puts a whole bunch of
plums in a box when they are green and hard and
sprays them with chemicals, it is possible that
in a few days they will look like dark purple
ripe fruit. However, one taste will tell you that
Nature had nothing to do with the end product.
Let's not fool ourselves in birth either. This
whole hospital induction thing has got to stop.
Whatever area we work in we can call these invasions
by their proper names- irritation and chemical
altering. Lying about what's going on perpetuates
the practice."
***Note- for studies about induction dangers,
go here. The studies
show that labor induction leads to c-sections,
shoulder dystocia, and instrumental deliveries.
The beauty of a newborn's
head
"Part of human bonding is for the mother
to bury her nose in her infant's head which should
smell like her innermost bodily fluids, kiss it,
pat it, stroke it and drink in that fuzz, curls,
scent and beauty through her lips, heart, eyes
and nose. It shouldn't smell like hospital soap!
Soaping up a newborn's head is just another way
of telling people that birth can only be conducted
in the church of modern medicine with the high
priest doctor there to annoint and baptize."
For pregnant women about
castor oil inductions and impatient midwives
"Inducing with castor oil isn't safe. Once
swallowed the castor oil is hydrolized by intestinal
lipases to recinoleic acid which stimulates intestinal
secretion, decreases glucose absorption and increases
intestinal motility. Castor oil is used in lipsticks,
too. Many women who can tolerate the oil quite
well on their lips get a reaction on their mouths
if the oil converts to recinoleic acid. My question
to a midwife who says castor oil is not absorbed
is 'Would you please provide me with references
for that statement'.
It's not so long ago that birthing women were
given soap suds enemas (high, hot and a helluva
lot) because someone started a rumor that soap
was not absorbed through the colon. We know this
is not true and that this black page in Obstetric
history is best forgotten. Too many women have
turned from saying 'My doctor says' to saying
'My midwife says'. Take responsibility for your
and your family's health. It's fine to respect
professionals but ask for references on everything
you're not l00 % sure of and use your internet
to scope things out. There is so much crap that
passes for science without anyone questioning
it.
On the subject of all the women in a hurry to
get their babies born: I was 3 weeks 'overdue'
with my oldest daughter. What really helped me
was that I had lunch with a friend at about 8
months pregnancy. Her son had been born 6 months
before. When she saw me walk in the restaurant
all hugely pregnant she said 'Oh, Gloria, when
I see you I miss my pregnancy so much'. I knew
that one day I'd be saying that, too, so I made
up my mind to enjoy it as long as possible and
I'm so glad I did. Six months from now you'll
be wondering what the rush was. I worry about
women taking castor oil because you also give
your baby castor oil when you take it through
the gut. This means the baby will get diarrhea
and pass meconium, too. then you're into all the
transports for meconium.
The other thing about self-inducing is that you
end up with erratic labours that stop and start
and are difficult to complete. I just attended
a Coroner's inquest here into the death of a full
term baby girl. The midwife stripped membranes
and got the woman into labour but she had no urge
to push. She was in second stage a long time and
then her perineum wouldn't stretch. They cut an
episiotomy to get the baby out. Baby had bleeding
in the brain and only breathed on life support.
Later, Mom's placenta had to be manually removed
because it wouldn't come out. It seemed to me
that this woman's body wasn't ready to give birth
and that the membrane stripping caused an emergency
response in her body that produced dilation but
eventually wore off.
Bottom line: be patient with your little babes
and yourself."
Having a good hospital
birth
"I once met a woman who described her lovely
birth in the hospital with her first baby. With
no doula or midwife involved, she stayed home
till she was 8 cms, went to the hospital, gave
birth over an intact perineum. I couldn't believe
it- I hardly ever hear that good a story. When
I asked her how she did it she said, 'I stayed
at home until I no longer wanted natural childbirth.
When I couldn't stand it anymore and wanted a
cesarean, I went in.' I've told a lot of women
that story and it's so true. Don't go to the hospital
if you are at all in a positive mood!"
How to check your own cervix
"I think it's a good and empowering thing
for a woman to check her own cervix for dilation.
This is not rocket science, and you hardly need
a medical degree or years of training to do it.
Your vagina is a lot like your nose- other people
may do harm if they put fingers or instruments
up there but you have a greater sensitivity and
will not do yourself any harm.
Best way to do it when hugely pregnant is to
sit on the toilet with one foot on the floor and
one up on the seat of the toilet. Put two fingers
in and go back towards your bum. The cervix in
a pregnant woman feels like your lips puckered
up into a kiss. On a non-pregnant woman it feels
like the end of your nose. When it is dilating,
one finger slips into the middle of the cervix
easily (just like you could slide your finger
into your mouth easily if you are puckered up
for a kiss). As the dilation progresses the inside
of that hole becomes more like a taught elastic
band and by 5 cms dilated (5 fingerwidths) it
is a perfect rubbery circle like one of those
Mason jar rings that you use for canning, and
about that thick.
What's in the centre of that opening space is
the membranes (bag of waters) that are covering
the baby's head and feel like a latex balloon
filled with water. If you push on them a bit you'll
feel the baby's head like a hard ball (as in baseball).
If the waters have released you'll feel the babe's
head directly.
It is time for women to take back ownership of
their bodies."
Contemplating birth, death
and what's "real"
"I am doing serious thinking about what
is 'real' in attending births at home and I do
spend a lot of time on this subject in my moments
of creative thought. I have watched midwives,
nurses and physicians building more and more walls
of protocol and insurance around themselves in
order to protect the public and the practitioner.
I notice it isn't working. The cesarean and aggressive
obstetrics rate is going through the roof and
the perinatal mortality rate is not improved.
We all know women who have studied obstetrics
to be prenatal educators, doulas and midwives
and the more education they get the less likely
they will let you touch them in birth. In fact,
the more women learn the more likely they are
to birth unassisted. This should tell us something.
As Dr. Odent says, the focus of western obstetrics
is to "know" all that is going on and
attempt to control it. This is what disturbs birth
and prevents the mother and baby from doing the
dance of birth in a smooth way. In any other field,
the science that shows that 'managed' birth is
wrong would be acted on. ie. if 'managing' heart
disease resulted in more heart failure, then managing
would stop.
There is something perverse in those of us who
work in childbirth. We just don't want to get
it that we're not needed. So, if we are allowed
to participate, I believe it is not our 'win'
when it goes well and it's not our 'fault/blame/loss'
when it doesn't go well. In a way it's very arrogant
to believe that a person would attend more than
300 births and not be witness to a death. In our
business, the numbers eventually just come up.
Very competent doctors, nurse-midwives, registered
midwives, and birth attendants encounter death.
It is a good feeling to beat death but in trying
to beat death we have devised a monstrous system
that hurts most women and babies and results in
societal breakdown that is horrendous.
We must embrace the fact that a few babies die
and return birth to a normal, healthy process
for the great majority of our population. This
is the role of the grandmothers and wise women.
Bring that message home to Mother Earth."
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