"My boy needs dental surgery under general
anesthetic- wisdom please!"
Compiled by LLM. Updated 3/9/03
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Question:
"My little boy (just turned 3) is going
to the hospital for dental surgery- he's the
only one out of eight fully-breastfed children
with 'bad' teeth. (His top four teeth need to
be removed, and he needs numerous caps and fillings).
He needs a general anesthetic- and I feel very
overwhelmed with the thoughts of how that day
would go. If anyone has any good advice on how
to get such a little kid through such a big
experience, I would value it greatly.
"Also: I have heard of an alternative
to general anesthetic- chloral hydrate- this
would put him into a near-sleep state, and possibly
enable him to tolerate this procedure in a regular
dental office. Does anyone have any experience
with this drug?- or children's extensive dental
work in general?" -site editor LLM
Responses:
By Leilah, after the fact
3/9/03
"Well, now it's all done- it's been a week
and a half since the procedure was completed (all
went quite well), and I'll share what I learned
about how it all went.
1- Bringing along his favorite teddy helped A
LOT.
2. SUPPORT PEOPLE: Having extra support: for
him- bringing his big sister, his most helpful
friend; for me- my midwife and friend Gloria Lemay.
3. Leaving the baby at home with her father was
a good idea- I was able to focus all my attention
on Sean.
4. I was with him at ALL TIMES- when he was conscious,
anyway. It felt horrible, especially as they were
putting him under; I knew it felt to him that
I was betraying him. The memory is an awful one-
how he screamed and struggled to get away (from
me!)- it was one of the most wretched things I
have ever been through as a mother. But, I know
it was best- things can't be all rosy and sunshine
all the time, sometimes scary things need to be
done, and a firm but loving hand is needed. Our
kids don't have to be our "buddies"
all the time.
"As he was recovering, I was there- no one
called me, but I was sure I was there anyway,
which was a bit of a struggle- to overcome my
deeply-ingrained habit of being a "good girl"-
someone who obeys the rules. But with the help
of my support person, Gloria Lemay, I was able
to do what I knew was right- be with my little
boy when he needed me most, whether they wanted
me to or not. So in I went (politely) to the recovery
room, where I was the first person he saw upon
waking, and then I laid with him on the bed. He
did not leave my arms for the rest of the short
hospital stay.
"If I could go back and do anything different,
it would have been to hold my ground better when
confronted with the anesthetist, who maintained
that my son wouldn't 'remember anything' and proceeded
to treat him like a nonentity. I wish I could
have slowed things down a bit- and held him in
my arms as he was put under with the gas masks
(instead of trying to soothe him as they held
him (too firmly!!!) down in that ghastly OR. Yes-
I would slow things down, and insist I hold him
until he was 'out'...
"Another thing I wish I could go back and
fix- I wish I would have brought a long a really
nice wrapped present for him, a special treat
'from the dentist'. I was thinking of doing this
but from some reason never did. It would have
made his experience better, I understand that
now.
"But in all I did ok, and I'm deeply grateful
for all the kind words, support and wisdom I have
received in this." -Leilah
* * * * *
"As I was pondering your question about
how to handle the dental surgery of your 3-year-old
son, I kept coming back to the same questions:
1) What benefit would there be to remove teeth
from a child before his permanent teeth came in?
2) If you don't trust obstetricians to know what
is best for your family, why would you trust dentists
to know what is best for their teeth?
3) Would this child still require dental work
if he followed the nutritional findings of Weston
A. Price DDS?
"You'll have to answer these questions yourself,
but personally I no longer place all my trust
in doctors (or other "experts") to make
health decisions for my family or myself. I feel
that they may know how to perform surgery or use
drugs and radiation, but just as it is with birth
they cannot know what is best for all of their
patients. I feel that it is up to me to learn
all I can in order to make an informed decision
(which usually involves staying far away from
doctors of any kind), and to take charge of my
own health. I guess you could say that I now take
the unassisted birth philosophy to include all
aspects of health care.
"I have been (informally but voraciously)
studying nutrition for the past 2-1/2 years. Weston
A. Price DDS was a dentist who in the 1920's and
1930's traveled around the world studying the
health and teeth of primitive people. He looked
at their teeth when they were on their native
diets, and then as they came into contact with
western culture. What he found was an amazing
difference in their health, their teeth and their
resistance to disease after they were introduced
to civilized foods.
"He also found people who abandoned their
traditional diets and developed cavities, and
then returned to a native diet could heal those
cavities without any dental work, just on the
basis of good food. The body knows how to birth,
and the body knows how to heal when it is given
the nutrients it needs.
"For more information on the work of Weston
Price I suggest:
- "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration"
by Weston A. Price DDS (includes amazing photographs)
- "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally
Fallon (this is a combination recipe book and
wonderful resource on nutrition)
- www.westonaprice.org
- Wise Traditions (magazine)
Good luck and good health." -Lisa Bianco-Davis
* * * * *
"My daughter is also going to be 3 in February
and will be having the same oral surgery soon.
This will be the sixth time that she has needed
anesthesia.
"Chloral Hydrate can be good for sedation
when a painless procedure is being done, like
a medical test that requires the child to be still,
but it doesn't always work with every child. With
teeth extractions I am having it done at the hospital's
ambulatory surgical unit and this way I know that
she will be safe and will not remember the pain
of the procedure. With all of her anesthesias
the doctor has allowed me to go into the OR with
her and sing to her while the mask is being put
on her and until she is asleep. The anesthesia
has a grape or bubble gum smell for the children
and the worst part is the mask over the face.
It might help to ask the doctor if you can get
an OR outfit to show your child how you will have
to dress to go with him and how the doctors and
nurses will be dressed.
"Also, our children take their cues from
us. Try to make it fun. Sing and dance, bring
a favorite comfort toy and believe me you will
cry as soon as your child is asleep. But, don't
let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be crying.
Let it out, because it is scary to see a child
sedated.
"When the child is taken to recovery, they
are usually very quick to get parents and you
can usually hold your child pretty quickly. Don't
be alarmed if your child is crying and then going
back to sleep several times. Also, it can make
a child very crabby for a good hour. Be sure to
bring your child's favorite drinking cup and juice.
I also take a sealed bottle of water to dilute
the juice. Sometime a child can vomit soon after
drinking, but try bringing a fun straw so that
your child sips slowly.
"Good luck with everything!" -Peace
and love, Gloria
* * * * *
"My son was 4 1/2 when I first took him
to the dentist. We brush teeth regularly and generally
eat very few sweets. I was shocked to learn that
he had 3 very serious cavities- 2 of them almost
to the root! I was told they were going to have
to do a Pulpectomy (basically digging down to
the root and applying something to kill the bacteria
and then placing a filling over that). He said
this was about the same as doing a root canal.
He explained our options and we decided to have
them use the gas (hydrochloride I think) in the
dentist office.
"When Keaton got there,they had him choose
a little face mask that would deliver the gas-
he had 3 'flavors' to choose from (bubble gum,
grape, or cherry). They started to give him the
gas and he relaxed quite a bit (he wasn't that
nervous to begin with since he had only been to
the dentist once and it was a pleasant experience).
I sat with him while they worked and he was awake
(watching a children's video), but felt NO pain.
He was out of it, but the minute they took the
mask off, he was totally normal and had no real
memory of any of it. Hope this helps!"
Nicole- BCCE, CD (DONA)
Mom to Keaton 6, Griffin 4 and Landon 6 months
* * * * *
"I had a similar thing with my son who is
super hyperactive. I didn't take him to the dentist
till 3 because he is near impossible at times.
He needed extensive fillings, etc. because he
was difficult to pin down- took my husband and
I both to brush his teeth. We did it regularly,
but it was difficult and the cavities were the
result.
"I was petrified of his reaction to the
dentist (he hates Dr's in general and fears white
coats due to some previous health problems - which
didn't end up existing ... long story). Anyway,
they gave him gross medicine to drink, and that
calms them first. He then threw up after a while
(it has that side-effect) and then after about
an hour they gave him gas and did all the work
in the chair. They used a papoose to keep him
still, I insisted on staying with him (which was
good for both of us) and he was in far away land.
Also, when the lady dentist gave him the shot,
she keep the needle hidden (she had numbed him
first with gel) and she snuck it up towards his
mouth (he didn't even notice the shot). It went
WAY better than I thought it would, and he was
even okay with going back to her for the next
round of fillings. He was dopey that afternoon,
but recovered perfectly.
"I generally feel better about the gas and
pre-med than about full anesthesia." -Leigh
* * * * *
"Well I have a bit of experience with Chlorohydrate
(Noctec). This drug is used as a night time sedative.
I have had it used for my kids (age 5 and 6) for
dental work (both boys needed 4 and 5 fillings).
It was great as they slept through the procedure.
I highly recommend that if you go this route that
you ask about resuscitation abilities that he
has.
"That said......
"Personally if I had the choice for extracts
I would definitely go with general anesthesia.
The work involved in the extract is quick, but
for the three year old... I would rather he be
in hospital with me at his side through the whole
thing. Hold him while the anesthetic is administered.
And be right with him as the procedure is over.
He will waken with a sore mouth, which you can
give rescue remedy and arnica for immediately.
A bit of Tylenol and you will have a little boy
at the end of the day sticking his tongue out
through his empty tooth spaces and having a blast.
(I believe).
"I have general anesthetic as a child (6
years old) and they are very good with kids and
understand that this can be a traumatic experience.
"In my opinion.... achieving the 'near sleep'
and comfort of such is more difficult than under
going the general with the right resuscitation
equipment at hand with a trained anesthesiologist.
"So there ya go. Anecdotal at best. But
I think you can make the experience less fearful
with the hospital choice. If you make it as interesting
as possible, they won't be as scared.
"Remember...he has no idea about obstetrics
and hospitals and the fear mongering that happens
there. Kids' hospitals are very compassionate
since the days I was there."
Patricia Blomme, RN
(burned as a child at the age of six and knows
all about general anesthesia and kids hospitals)
* * * * *
"You asked about the alternative, chloral
hydrate, to sedate him during the procedure. I
can tell you my experience of it, but it is with
a baby (10 weeks old), not a small child. When
Julian required surgery on his skull, they needed
to do a CAT scan and he HAD to lie completely
still for this procedure, so he was sedated with
Chloral hydrate. I was allowed to administer it
to him myself, the nurses loaded it into a medicine
syringe and I slowly squeezed it into his mouth.
It seems to be pretty yucky tasting stuff, but
slowly, I got it all into him. It definitely made
him very sleepy and very limp.
"I don't know anything about the side effects,
but Julian is 20 now, he made it through all of
the difficult procedures, drugs and surgery relatively
unscathed (I think, can't really know for sure).
I'm sure you are searching the Internet for information
on this drug and also your physician or anesthetist
should be asked.
"Regarding Sean's teeth, I don't know the
extent of the decay, but my daughter Ilaria has
had a couple of problems with her first molars
on the upper gum. One of them was so bad and abscessed
really badly, I panicked and took her in to the
dentist and he did a baby root canal right there
on the spot because he filled me with all kind
of fear about the infection. Sure enough, a year
later, the first molar abscessed on the other
side. What I did was go out and buy a water pik,
it's a cleaning tool that shoots jets of water.
Ilaria had to clean that spot 3 times a day and
I put a little antibacterial mouth wash in it,
and her abscess cleared up just fine. I have read
some bad things about root canals locking infection
deep into tissues, so I felt it best to leave
the hole in the tooth there to drain any bacteria,
but just keep it VERY clean. She still cleans
with the water pik 2-3 times a day. They are not
too expensive of an apparatus, about $30-40, but
everyone in the family likes it and uses it now.
Way better than flossing. It feels really good
to massage your teeth and gums with water."
-Love, Maryanne
* * * * *
"My son had extensive decay by the time
he was three. He needed three pulpotomies, which
are partial root canals, a couple of fillings,
and his dentist thought we should cap his front
teeth, since they were grey with decay. The dentist
suggested we consult with the dental surgeon to
see about having it all done under general anesthesia,
a prospect that made me nervous.
"On the advice of the dental surgeon, we
chose to leave his front teeth alone, as they
would fall out in a couple of years anyway. He
also said he thought Jacob could sit for the pulpotomies
as long as the dentist was a good, fast pediatric
dentist (and he said our dentist was). That turned
out to be true. I held him for the first one,
literally sitting in the chair with him on my
lap. He asked me in advance if it would hurt.
Not wanting to lie, I said yes, but that it wouldn't
be more than he could bear and that I would be
with him every second. (I wept through the whole
first time.) He watched a Disney video during
it (we have no television at home, so this was
very exciting for him). The dentist was done with
the partial root canal in less than 30 minutes.
He got some toys, and she suggested I wait a while
to bring him back in order to let the memory fade.
We went back about six weeks later and did the
next one and then another one with a filling or
two at each visit.
"He could indeed sit for it, and I learned
a great deal about parenting. It really reminded
me that my job as a mother is not to prevent my
children from (necessary) pain, but rather to
help them through it. Good luck." -Vicki
* * * * *
"My daughter has had 4 surgeries- and it
was definitely easier when she was younger- she
did not know to be afraid so the whole thing seemed
to go much better. Her last surgery was when she
was 8 and her fear was the worst part of it. Are
you still nursing? If so, that will be a big comfort
both before and afterwards. How long will they
allow you to be with him?- through the surgery?-
until the general takes effect? When I saw my
daughter under general it was a very unnerving
experience- to see her laying so perfectly still-
I still have visions of that sometimes and just
praise God that she's okay now.
"If it works out that you can skip seeing
him under general- I would recommend it. But,
of course, if your son needs you to stay with
him then just be prepared- it can be very creepy.
Don't want to add to your anxiety, but wanted
to warn you so you know what to expect. Your son
will most likely come through the surgery just
fine- when they're so young they seem to recover
incredibly fast and I have not noticed that it
affects them emotionally in the long run. That's
a relief anyway! God bless!" -Vyckie
* * * * *
"Leilah, I know how you feel, two weeks
ago we had scheduled an adenoidectomy for my 4
yrs old, but the night before we were both so
stressed and confused because we weren't sure
it was absolutely necessary so we decided to postpone
it for now... Indeed the idea of having a child
put to sleep is frightening. But I am sure your
son will be fine because he is going to have people
all over the world praying and sending good vibes!
good luck,." -Ibone
* * * * *
"I've been through dental surgery twice.
It is terrifying even for an adult. The best thing
you can do is to keep him comfortable afterwards.
Whatever he wants to eat when he comes to, let
him. Best things are stuff like popsicles, jello,
sherbert, chicken soup broth...
"He will be very dopey on and off for a
week or more. The first two days, have your eldest
children sit with him as much as possible or watch
the little ones to help you take care of him.
He might toss his cookies on the way home from
the hospital if you get to take him home that
day.
"Keep him warm, comfortable, and as pain
free as you can. Give him lots of love. And give
him a hug from each of us." -Mimick
* * * * *
"Do you use homeopathics? If you do, make
sure he gets arnica post op as often as he'll
take it, and of course Bach's Rescue Remedy before
and after and take it yourself too. My daughter
was badly burned her hand and we had ambulance,
ER, burns unit trip then daily visit to the burns
unit for two weeks for dressings (not a mark on
her now) and we found that by being calm and trusting
that that vibe seemed to really rub off on her.
She took deep breaths for the nurses when they
changed her dressings. We didn't lie about the
pain, just made the procedures very matter of
fact and that reassured her a lot. Told her things
were going to hurt but that we'd be with her and
that she could cry and say 'Ow ow ow'. By the
way she's also been to the dentist and had two
fillings in the chair- at 2 years of age, applied
same principles. I hope this goes really well,
let us know." -Kris in Australia, mom
to Dara and Kell.
* * * * *
"I would use rescue remedy before the surgery
and make sure that you use arnica, in an acute
protocol, for healing and pain management after
the surgery." -Pam
* * * * *
"Praying for you and your baby. :0) He will
get through it much better than you will I am
sure.
"I know what you are going through as my
kids have had some strange things happen. My oldest
had a migraine last spring that caused complete
amnesia for hours. She has since been diagnosed
with rolandic seizures which are pretty mild and
usually outgrown. My 4 year-old daughter has a
'sunken chest' and will have to have surgery in
a couple of years, actually at least 2, one to
place a 'bar' of some sort and another to remove
it." -Michelle C.
* * * * *
"My firstborn had some deep cavities, and
had a crown done and some fillings under general
anesthesia, when she was about 3 (and I was pregnant
with my second baby). I know she and I met with
the anesthesiologist at least the day before,
and that I also met separately with the anesthesiologist,
and if I remember correctly, we three walked down
at least to the hallway. I wanted to find out
exactly what anesthesia they were going to use,
and lots of other things. The dentist, a great
guy who acts very respectfully toward kids, had
explained to her basically what would happen.
I had asked the anesth. if I could stay with her
(ie, be in the o.r.) the whole time. He explained
that I could, if I really wanted, but that 'putting
to sleep' is really 'putting in a coma', and that
most parents find this very disturbing to see,
and that the child has no awareness if you are
there or not. I opted to stay in the waiting room.
"Riva, my daughter, was not thrilled about
going the last 30 feet down the hall with the
nurse (and not with me, as they didn't let ungowned
etc. people past that point in the hall), but
as soon as she saw the room itself she was fascinated
by all the equipment. The one thing no one thought
to tell her about was that 'everyone' would be
wearing masks, and she said later that she found
that scary. There were 2 anesth's - one to administer
the anesthesia and one to monitor vital signs.
One of these was great. He talked with her, explained
everything, and also lifted his mask briefly to
show her his 'real face' underneath, which helped
her a lot.
"Riva, a pretty attached child, did absolutely
fine. She remembers this event in her life, but
without trauma. During the process, the dentist
called the receptionist in the waiting room several
times to give progress reports, and that also
helped me.
"So my suggestions would be if at all possible
to take your child to visit just where he/she
will be going, remind her of the people she knows
who will also be there with him/her (the dentist?
the dentist's assistant?). Our dentist talked
with her about how they would be making her teeth
'happy', so she would have 'happy teeth' afterward.
Riva had had several cavities drilled and filled
which had not been fun at all, so I think the
idea of 'happy teeth' that would not need that
was very positive for her.
"I would highly recommend going over pretty
much what will happen- the sequence of events.
This should include getting up in the morning
of the day without getting food or drink- I worked
out with Riva that I would wake her just in time
to carry her out to the care and drive to the
clinic, so there was a minimum of time of her
feeling thirsty and hungry. I reminded her that
I would be right there in the building all the
time. Talk about recovery- that she/he will be
in a special room, that it might take some time
of feeling woozy and foggy waking up, but that
he/she will get to have something special (a popsicle?
ask about what they give kids in the recovery
room), though probably won't feel like much food
till later in the day, which gives your child
something positive, even exciting, to focus on.
"Maybe there is something special (a toy?
a food? a special time with Mom or Dad or even
an older sibling?) to plan on for at home later
(though they will probably feel like sleeping
a good part of the day), again, kind of a reward
or special attention to offset the anxiety/discomfort.
(If you are pretty strict about healthy food,
TV, etc., this may be one time to make a little
exception...).
"Anyway, this is how it went for us. Knowing
as much as possible about what would happen, what
to expect, helped me as much as it helped her!
Hope this helps, and I feel confident that all
will go well! I will be thinking of you!
"PS, Along with this, the dentist noted
that Riva's molars had deep 'pits' that would
be very hard to keep free of food and where it
was likely that the enamel was thin. He said some
teeth are just made that way, and he recommended
putting on a polymer coating even on her 'baby
teeth'. That is what we did, and it ended the
problems of cavities in her molars. When her adult
molars came in, we had coatings put on those also,
and she has never had a cavity since then."
-Susan
* * * * *
"I had a five year old go through the same
thing last summer. Rescue Remedy and Arnica made
it easier." -Alison
* * * * *
"Leilah, Piece of cake!!! The little ones
are very resilient to the general and to surgery.
Adults have the harder time. You will be surprised
how well the little one will do. It is much harder
and stressful for Mom and dad than the child.
"My son, who was born with several heart
defects has had numerous surgeries including open
heart. He did very well. I always put him on colloidal
silver before and after surgery. I also put him
on liquid chlorophyll (to build up his Hg) before
as well. We always ate real good, lots of nutritious
veggies so his diet was/is awesome. I have him
on SuperGreens now at age 13 (Sunday was his bd)
and his little heart is functioning best it can
right now. We will be thinking of you and your
family, and relax, he will be fine!"
Jill Peck-Colin, CPM
Las Vegas, NV
* * * * *
"My son was tested numerous times at two
different hospitals to diagnose his epilepsy right
after he turned 3, anesthetized, put to sleep,
etc. My suggestions:
- Have him take any "lovies" he likes-
teddy bears, security blankets, whatever.
- *Make the medpros wait* while they explain
exactly what they're going to do next to you
and then you explain it to him in language he
understands before allowing them to do anything.
Don't trust that they will tell him no matter
how many times anyone assures you that they
will. Don't let anyone rush him or you.
- Talk it over with him afterward.
- Kids this age may want to deny that they experienced
anything but talk about what Teddy Bear or someone
else experienced- putting it off onto the other.
Go along with this. It's less emotionally painful
for him.
Also, when I had my wisdom teeth extracted under
GA, I was in severe but dull pain for a day or
two afterward." -Annette
* * * * *
"Is he still nursing? That would be a great
comfort to him. Be sure to tell the dentist that
you want to be there before he wakes up, so yours
will be the first face he sees when he does awaken.
I know that was helpful for me when I had my wisdom
teeth cut out. My mom was right there when I woke
up. I wasn't as young as Sean, but I was a young
kid. Juice pops are good too :)" -Amy
Edwards
* * * * *
"Wow- my heart goes out to you. I have a
long story, but the short of it is no one was
with me as I came to from the GA. It would have
made all the difference in the world if one of
my loved ones was present to help 'call me back'
into my body. I never really came back from the
GA as a result. So, I would encourage you to hold
his hand as he is gone-under the GA. This will
help him remain 'grounded' here. You will be holding
his place here, as his spirit, in many ways, is
traveling to other levels. Hold his hand and call
him back, welcome him back into his body, into
this world as he returns from the anesthesia.
"Just what I learned from experience, and
what would have shifted my entire experience.
Much much love to you and your little boy."
-Jaya
* * * * *
"Did you get a second opinion? My daughter
was told her almost 3 yr old need massive dental
work under general(baby bottle syndrome) he never
had a bottle. Son in law is an RN and wanted to
speak with the dentist as he was not able to go
to the initial appointment. Doc would not talk
with him.(only pedi dentist in the area) . They
self paid for a second opinion with a regular
dentist. Isaiah ended up with 3 cavities filled.
They live in Iowa.
"I just heard on the news about that lady
who had a mastectomy and the lab results were
wrong she never had cancer. I told my husband
to remind me to get a second opinion on all bad
labs."
Judi Handmaiden
Midwifery Monmouth Oregon
* * * * *
"I think the first thing I would tell you
is that, even though this IS truly a great big
event for him, it's much more traumatic for you
as his mother! The best advice I can give is to
keep reminding yourself of that as you prepare
him and go through this with him. He will certainly
have his own feelings about it all, and it is
really important to try to keep your own separate
as you talk to him about it.
"My second suggestion would be for you to
be prepared for a longer stay than you expect.
My 13 year old daughter just underwent *6 hour*
surgery (tonsils and adenoids) the day after Christmas,
and we were surprised and a bit overwhelmed to
have to deal with her being kept in the hospital
for 2 nights for observation-her sleep apnea,
which was the main reason for the surgery, was
finally being noticed by the docs and they were
concerned about how low her blood oxygen levels
were dropping. It was probably better immediately
after the surgery than it had been for years,
but they had never seen it before and they were
worried so we got to stay.
"So have him prepared for a stay-in case
this isn't supposed to include one-and of course
be prepared yourself to stay in case you need
to.
"Finally, I think it's always best to tell
children the truth about what's going to happen
to them, but at their appropriate developmental
levels. He should know that the doctor who he's
met will be putting him to sleep and making some
changes in his mouth, and when he wakes up he'll
feel strange. You didn't say what exactly is being
done, but I'm imagining that if it requires general,
it involves some cutting, so they will have him
on pain killers that will make him feel very sleepy,
and probably he will only have very cold liquids
to eat.
"Plan to have lots of books and videos (our
ped unit has a vcr and tv in each child's room,
and a huge stock of videos), and of course any
comfort objects he uses. I would give him a special
stuffed animal as a present afterwards- something
really cuddly. If you think he's going to stay
in hospital for a couple of days, you might also
want to have a picture book of all the people
who love him to look at. When my own kids were
really young, I put pictures of special people
in old tape cases and used colorful electrical
tape to seal them closed. That way they had little
stacking "blocks" with pictures in them
and I never worried about them handling the pictures.
"Mostly, though, I'd say just stay really
calm- make it an adventure- and always let him
know you are confident that he will be ok. (even
if you're not!) Many prayers that this goes easily
for you both. " -Blessings, Fiora
* * * * *
"If at all possible for you to remain with
him until he's asleep and for you to be brought
to him as he's coming out of anesthesia, before
he's really awake, try and get them to let you
do this. Sometimes people coming out of anesthesia
are disoriented and distraught, not fully come
around, and the medical staff don't want the family
to see this because people unfamiliar with anesthesia
might not realize this is a fairly normal anesthesia
reaction and would be upset by it.
"However even though I had requested this,
after oral surgery as a teenager, my son remembers
being upset and requesting the nurses GET ME and
they would not do this for him. I would not have
been frightened by his emotional state. They were
protecting ME from nothing, and not respecting
him by refusing his request. Although his memory
of the day after surgery was only patchy, he did
remember this- and also that I accidentally went
through a red light bringing him home.
"Also- babies and children are notoriously
undermedicated for pain. If you can find out what
the doctor has ordered for him for pain after
the surgery, then you can decide if he needs that
much or can take less, but you'll be informed
so the nurses can not ignore his pain if he needs
more medication for it. Some nurses will ignore,
unfortunately, or tell themselves he's doing fine
when he's really hurting. I hope you are pleasantly
surprised by good care and kind people. There
are some good people out there, a lot of fairly
medium ones, and the few jerks to beware of. I'll
be thinking of you and Sean." -Val
* * * * *
"I'm with you Val. I did some nurse training
and they do indeed teach that pain in childhood
had no lasting consequences- well we both know
how wrong that is. I was appalled when my eldest
was given a GA, they forced the mask on her even
though she was afraid, they wouldn't let me do
it in my time and I specifically asked for them
to get me so I was there when she came round and
this didn't happen. When they sent for me she
was already awake and terribly distressed. This
caused me more pain than being there when she
woke up and I couldn't calm Astrid down as she'd
already been awake for god knows how long with
nobody but strangers there.
"I don't say this to frighten you Leilah
but to show you how important it is that you assert
your rights and make sure they do things your
way, you are his mother and as such know what
is best, they will try and keep you apart because
they don't know how important it is for you to
stay together. A lot of nurses are very caring
but they don't understand the bond between an
attached child and it's mother. Nurses are often
mothers who's children go into daycare at 6 months
and label mothers like us neurotic and clingy,
it's not their fault they just don't understand."
-Lisa
* * * * *
"I remember my brother going to the hospital
for surgery when he was just a bit older than
Sean. One of the things that really seemed to
work for him (and every child is different..,)
was honesty. My mother reassured him calmly (she'
sure wasn't calm inside!) about the basics of
what to expect, trying to make it not sound too
scary.
"Acknowledge that he will be scared and
that it is ok, even mommy and daddy are a little
scared but have confidence in the nurses and doctors
who will be helping him.
"I think setting up a good relationship
with the staff can help too. Try to show confidence
in the staff in front of them...(most of the time)
they'll take more pride in their 'work' and won't
want to let you down. Does Sean have something
special he can take to the hospital that might
be a good conversation starter for the nurses
and other staff... the good ones will recognize
something such as a favorite toy and start a friendly
ice-breaking conversation that can quickly relax
a child. And something familiar can really be
important in an environment where almost everyone
is a stranger and even the rooms are so different
from home.
"A favorite book or other calming activity
to do during the wait between admission and the
anesthesia. This might be good for mommy too.
It's going to be difficult to not break down into
a babbling fountain of tears I'm sure so something
familiar will help you stay focused as well. And
make sure you have something to work on while
Sean is in surgery, you may not be able to do
anything other than worry but at least you'll
have an option.
"Would Sean be interested (I know, I know
you've got enough to do to prepare for the surgery
already!) in making cookies for 'all the new friends
he will be making at the hospital'? Or he could
color some pictures of the hospital, doctors,
nurses, his bed at the hospital, (whatever other
things you could associate with the stay).
"He might want to give one to his nurse,
but it would also help him process some of the
fear he is experiencing as well as let you know
a bit of what is going through his mind since
3 year olds have lots of comprehension of what
is going on but can't always verbalize their feelings.
A special gift. Maybe it could be opened after
arriving at the hospital shortly before surgery
and could be something to look forward to afterwards.
Or you could save it to open after surgery as
a distraction from the discomfort and disorientation.
I hope something here will help. And just know
that you will have friends all over the world
praying for Sean, the surgeons, and you. He will
be wrapped in love." -Donna
* * * * *
"My son who is now 9 (the youngest of 4
breastfed babies) also had many dental problems
when he was younger. Three of his four 12 month
molars abscessed and had to be removed and he
had many, many fillings as well. He also had chronic
ear infections from the time he was only a few
months old. I have a wonderful dentist and he
was able to develop a good relationship with my
young son which included a lot of trust. He explains
everything at the level the child can understand
and shows what he is doing by letting the child
hold a mirror. He was able to fill all the teeth
over several visits without even using local anesthetic
and removed the abscessed teeth with topical freezing
rubbed on the area and then a local anesthetic.
My son never complained of any pain during all
of this work and actually still loves going to
the dentist! I don't know how much of our success
was related to Spencer's personality but I hope
you have a dentist you trust totally and who will
go the extra mile.
" It has been my experience that a lot of
kids are sent for sedation or general anesthetic
because you can get all the work done at once
and it is easier for the dentist! My dentist's
research might also be of interest to you. He
is a prof. at the University of Toronto and has
done extensive research into the health related
problems of over exposure to fluoride whether
through drinking water, toothpaste, and would
you believe it, general anesthetic. I hope things
go well for you and your son!" -Liz
* * * * *
"Big hugs to you guys!!!!! Having been through
this sort of thing with Julian, I have a few words
of advice for you. First of all, INSIST on going
in with him to be there when they put him to sleep.
It's a very scary experience for them... being
taken away from mommy and daddy by a nurse in
uniform and the process of being put to sleep
is terrifying for a child. If you are with him,
it lessens that a bit I think... at least they
know that mama is there with them. THIS IS NOT
ROUTINE PROCEDURE so you have to insist on it.
I'd also insist on being there when he wakes up.
They usually wake the child up before they call
the parents and I think it's much better if yours
is the last face they see going under and the
first they see when they wake up.
"Also, I don't know if you've ever been
through any type of surgery with any of your children,
if you have then you already know this... but
be prepared for them to look awful upon waking
up. I didn't even recognize Julian when I walked
into the recovery room... I looked right at him
and thought it was someone else's child and kept
on looking. My prayers will be with you, I hope
it's a relatively simple procedure and his recovery
isn't too hard... I know that it's so hard with
a little one that doesn't really know what's going
on.
<<<< Also- babies and children
are notoriously undermedicated for pain. >>>>
"I absolutely agree with this statement!
When Julian was coming out of his surgery, he
was obviously in pain... he was screaming hysterically
and I was holding him as tight as I could, but
he was arching his back and backing away from
it (it was oral surgery, so he was throwing his
head back). I had to beg the nurse to give him
more demerol and she finally did. It was the single
most traumatic event of my life, it makes me shiver
and cry just thinking about it now. The most important
thing is to make sure that your baby's rights
as a human being (the right to be with his mama
is the most important one) are respected."
-Much love, Jessica
* * * * *
"I too had oral surgery when I was 12 or
13 and was put under general. It made things so
much better when they had my mother there for
me to wake up. I had actually had this little
fear that I would react to the anesthesia and
not came back out of it, but when I saw my mom
I knew all was well (and here I was an older kid)
I even asked the Dr to keep the blinds open so
that (just in case) the trees and the blue sky
would be the last thing I would see before going
to sleep. (FYI- they removed my canine/eye teeth
from the roof of my mouth where it looked like
they were going to stay. I do not have my eye
teeth, I spent 2-3 years in braces where all of
my teeth up to the molars were all moved down
towards the front.)
"What I didn't know was that coming out
of it I would be loopy. The first thing I asked
for was to see my teeth!! I had this strong emotional
reaction to it and started bawling. 2 minutes
later when I was up and walking I was laughing
hysterically, all the way to the bathroom. Mom
laughed and cried with me. I don't remember too
much pain, I guess I had been given an adequate
amount of pain meds before hand.
"Well such was one of the more 'medical'
experiences of my life." -Jesse
* * * * *
"When my daughter Amber was 11 months (now
20 yrs) She was in getting severely blocked tearducts
opened. She was great it was me that was a wreck,
keep busy while Sean is away from you, go for
lunch, walk around the grounds, take the baby
to the park. Waiting is the hardest part, give
him lots of hugs and kisses, you are probably
doing that anyway. My thought are with you both."
-Jamie
* * * * *
"First of all, I'm sorry to hear you and
your son are in this situation. I think having
someone there with you to help support you in
this you will make a big, big difference.
"When one of my kiddies needed to go under
general for a bronchoscope, and another to remove
a cyst 2x, it was soooo hard. Partly hard due
to the hospital setting and the fear that it invoked
in me. Partly because of the procedure that was
taking place and understanding the risks involved.
Though I know each case is personal and each situation
varies, I would offer this advice:
1. Meet the doctor and anesthesiologist before
the procedure. How do you feel about them? Does
your heart trust them? Ask them about their experience.
Ask them about risks/benefits/alternatives re:
this procedure. Even if you already know the risks/etc.
it gives the Dr's the correct impression that
you will be watching their every move (in a good
way) and that you are an informed and educated
consumer.
2. Walk your child into the OR. You can hold
him as he goes under. You have that right, you
just have to wear scrubs, etc. Let him look into
your eyes as they put the mask over his face.
You may see fear and terror in his eyes, but try
to smile back w/ love and strength. (Then go into
the waiting room and bawllll...)
3. Remember you are still in charge. Push to
be with your son right away in the 'recovery'
room. Find the right doctor/nurse who will advocate
this right for you. This is a hard time for your
child and to wake up alone in a strange place
is scary. You might have to fight a bit on this
one. I'll be thinking of you and understand a
bit of your trepidation..." -Heather McCue
* * * * *
"Affirmations for Sean's operation:
To be said out loud in the operating room as
the anesthetic is being administered.
- Sean is a strong, competent child.
- Sean's body is already starting to heal.
- Everyone in this room is blessed to know Sean.
- The love of God encircles and enfolds all
the members of the operating Team.
- Love, patience and making a difference are
the gifts of this operation.
To be said by the parents:
- I am safe and my children are safe when life
seems out of control.
- It is all right for me to trust others.
- Others see the beauty and goodness of my precious
children.
- All things work together for good.
- Everything turns out more divinely than I
ever thought possible."
Love, Gloria Lemay
* * * * *
"Be sure to give him arnica 3 times the
days before, during and after the surgery. It
will help ease the trauma, etc." -Sheila
* * * * *
"I just recently took my daughter in for
dental surgery too and went through many anxieties
about it. One of the hardest parts was not nursing
her 4 hours before going in to hospital. We got
up very early that morning trying to keep her
distracted. I had found out who were the anesthesiologists
for that morning. The senior one was going to
be in the room during the surgery. They do it
every week and the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit
was at this hospital. Just in case, but they reassured
me there has not been complications from the general
for a long time. She got through it fine. I was
pretty worn out. I went in to the surgery room
with her until she went under. Then waited and
waited. She did fine. They ended up taking out
her four front teeth. I was not expecting that
and it floored me. The x-rays showed bacteria
in the roots and they had to take them.
"She was pretty groggy for a while. She
nursed. We had a quiet day at home. She slept
quite awhile in the afternoon. Was pretty much
herself the next day. Adapting pretty good to
using her back teeth. They rebound pretty good.
I think in some ways it is harder for the parent.
I hope all goes well for you and your child."
Beverly Scow
Wise Women Gathering Place
Green Bay, WI
* * * * *
"In my opinion, you are faced with a very
difficult decision regarding Sean's care. I had
the same situation with my daughter Phoebe (19)
when she was 3. She was the only one of my four
children who required a huge amount of dental
work- both decay and spacing problems. The recommendation
was to put her under a general anesthetic and
complete all the work. I was too scared of anesthesia
accidents and of the possibility of the effect
on her subconscious (who knows- I'm sure that
traumatic dental work has an impact too). We tried
the chlorohydrate and she hated it (I think we
finally used chocolate milk with it, but I'm not
sure) and finally, in talking to other mothers,
I found a dentist who used laughing gas (Nitrous
oxide). I don't know the risks of the gas but
that's what worked for her. At first I was with
her, holding her hand and reassuring her, and
eventually she was fine with me just sitting beside
her.
"We/she had a terrible experience at the
Oakridge Pediatric Dental Group with a dentist
who was the head of pediatric dentistry at UBC
- it was a nightmare - the dentist promised both
Phoebe and I that she would call me in if Phoebe
wanted me but didn't and Phoebe was heartbroken-
and then the dentist tried to charge me extra
for 'difficult behaviour'- the place had all the
modern trappings but they practiced unethically,
as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, that was when
they wanted to do the G/A route - I almost went
for it but didn't and one of the reasons was their
terrible manner/attitude.
"Anyway, Phoebe spent a lot of time in the
dentist chair and the gas worked well. Maybe someone
has info on the risks of using it and that would
be good to know.
"It was a horrible experience to have to
make decisions for my sweet little girl at such
a tender trusting age and my heart ached for her.
I keep wondering about the causes of her poor
teeth like maybe my diet at the time?
"Phoebe has had othrodontic work (braces
and appliances etc), crowns, root canals, and
after all she has gone thru' - since she was three
- SHE STILL DOESN'T TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER TEETH!!!!!!
go figure, I told her she has to start paying
now.
"I feel for you and anyone else in your
position - it seems like there are no easy answers.
I wish you and Sean all the best, whatever your
decision." -Laurie Brant
* * * * *
"If he were my kid I would sure try the
Chloral Hydrate first- it is an Oral Sedation,
he is conscious and breathing, just RELAXED++++.
And they do it in the dentist office- not the
hospital!!!!! I think it is a good first move-
if it doesn't work you can always schedule him
for a GA. Nothing ventured nothing gained."
-Cindy Milner, RN
* * * * *
"I recommend royal chamomile to help with
the side effect of general anesthetic."
-Vivian Lunny, aromatherapist
* * * * *
"Our 4 year old son had the same problem
and he too had to have his teeth repaired, we
were lucky that the dentist didn't decide to pull
them. The pediatric dentist in our town provides
an intramuscular injection of a drug that puts
the kids out enough that they are mostly asleep
during the procedure. Our son had crowns put on
this 2 front teeth and caps put on the 2 teeth
aside of those. He did great through the procedure
which was done in the dentist's office. I guess
that it can be difficult to find dentists who
provide the intra-muscular injection in office
as the malpractice insurance is high for that
procedure. You might want to call around and see
if there is a dental practice in your area that
can do the procedure in office instead of the
hospital. I too was a nervous wreck about having
our son's teeth possible pulled. Good Luck!"
-Jennie Grow
* * * * *
"I was faced with this same thing when my
son was 3 also. I was really torn about it. He
also has weak teeth and at his first dental appointment
he had more that 6 cavities! The dentist tried
to fill one but his tongue kept getting in the
way even though he was a perfect angel in the
chair. I decided to wait a while to see if he
could handle doing it in the chair. Six months
later or so he had matured that much and he did
it without a problem." -Alison
* * * * *
"My daughter too had oral surgery a year
or so ago (she was just two then and preverbal)
and it was a very traumatic experience for her
and us.
"For whatever reason (and it seems there
could be a combination, from what I read and heard),
Roslin developed 'nursing caries'. Her four upper
middle front teeth and 2 upper molars developed
cavities, and by the time she made it to the top
of the hospital waiting list the enamel on her
front teeth was literally falling off in chunks.
"Having her teeth repaired seemed the right
thing to do, but the thought of a general anesthetic
and surgery scared me terribly. I felt that my
premature first daughter's death was ultimately
attributable to too many hospital interventions,
so I was quite reluctant to subject my second
daughter to surgery and an anesthetic, which is
not without risks (death among them, and I can
tell you that after having one child die I didn't
feel that 1 in 300,000 was the most comforting
odd).
"Thankfully she lived, but I have to say
that for a couple of hours immediately after the
surgery she cried inconsolably, something which
she had never done before. She was completely
unreachable- none of her favourite songs or stories
helped. Apparently this is common, but no one
prepared us for this ahead of time and we (and
obviously she) found it quite traumatic.
"I also had refused a pre-surgery sedative
for her (thinking the fewer the number of drugs,
the better), but if I chose to do it again I would
give her the oral sedative. Restraining a fully
conscious child while an anesthetic mask is held
over her nose and mouth to sedate her for surgery
is extremely traumatic for her and her parent.
"Furthermore, in a pre-operation interview
with one of the anesthetists, it was confirmed
(and he wrote it on her chart) that she did NOT
require prophylactic antibiotics for the type
of heart murmur she has. After the surgery the
nurse read us the long list of drugs that had
been given to Roslin, which included a WHOPPING
dose of antibiotics. Didn't the chart say antibiotics
were not required? Yes, but the anesthetist on
call that day disregarded this information. Aside
from being very angry, we had to be careful over
the next few weeks to prevent a yeast infection.
"I also didn't want Roslin to be x-rayed,
which is routinely done before surgery. The dentist
said that if he didn't he wouldn't be able to
place a claim for her, and I would have to pay
for the entire surgery out of pocket, something
I couldn't afford.
"Then a few months after the surgery, she
must have bumped one of her newly-capped front
teeth, because an hour or so after brushing them
one morning one of them was missing. The tooth
beside that one is now loose and it looks like
she will lose that one eventually too. And the
composite filling in one of the molars recently
fell out, leaving a blackened surface.
"Will I do it again? Subject her to another
anesthetic to have these teeth repaired (which
is what the dentist is recommending)? No. For
health, speech and cosmetic reasons the first
surgery seemed the right thing to do.
"But I've been giving new thought to our
teeth. The dentists I had seen (for second, third
and fourth opinions, who all said the same thing)
prior to Roslin's surgery scared me into believing
that if I didn't have the surgery done she would
surely develop an abscess. I don't believe that
anymore, especially with careful attention being
paid to the foods she eats and careful brushing
and rinsing after meals. Cosmetically, I would
prefer her to have all her front teeth, but know
these will eventually grow in again. Her upper
molar needs attention, I believe, but right now
I'm reluctant to traumatize her again.
"I hope some of this helps. I know that
a lot of my fears are borne out of my experience
with Grace, and don't wish to pass them on. But
perhaps some of the things I mentioned will help
you know what you might expect with your son's
surgery.
"I can also tell you how my daughter dealt
with another recent traumatic experience, which
may or may not help your son.
"Last November she had a blood test- her
finger was poked with a lancet while I held her.
She was terrified and thrashed about, and I was
in that awful parental place of thinking I was
doing a responsible thing for my daughter while
at the same time wanting to scoop her out of there
and love, love, love her.
"Since she was able to use words at that
time and her level of understanding was that much
greater, I carefully approached the subject sometime
afterwards, feeling that if she could process
the experience the memory of it would not reside
in her body and continue causing her trauma down
the line.
"The first time I mentioned 'blood test'
and 'hospital' (which is where she had the blood
test) she responded with fear and I didn't say
another word. Some time later, I gently broached
the subject again, to see where she was at. Still,
fear; she definitely did not want to hear another
word. As the weeks went by, she became a little
more comfortable with the mention of these words,
but no elaborations.
"My daughter has a doctor kit which she
loves to play with. Although she steered clear
of the syringe after this event, I could see that
she was slowly becoming more willing to look at
it. And then this week, several months after her
blood test and almost daily play with her kit
(her choice), she actually 'gave a poke' with
the 'blood lancet', to both me and some inanimate
objects! 'We' all duly cried out in pain and asked
for a hug, which she was quick to offer. She still
won't read or look at the pictures about the blood
lancet in her library books, but I now believe
that her complete 'processing' of this event is
only a matter of time.
"I have observed this process with utter
fascination. My prayer is that as we continue
with this role playing her body will no longer
need to hold on to the trauma it experienced.
I wish I had done something as creative with her
first hospital experience (after she had oral
surgery)." -Sincerely, Pegan
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