Ella Mae's Birth Story
-by Aubrey
Jo
Chris, Aubrey and Hannah are delighted to announce
the birth of Ella Mae at home on February 13th,
2001 at 1:55ish p.m.
She weighed 11 pounds, 0 ounces and was 22 inches
long Only our family was in attendance to welcome
her.
Birth Story
After having bouts of "false labor"
since about 34 weeks, I wasn't sure what I was
feeling was "real". I woke up around
4:30 am on February 13th, feeling my belly tighten
on & off. I didn't start timing them, because
I didn't want to disappoint myself. I spent the
previous weeks/month wishing for labor to start,
to the point I'd have contractions for hours on
end. Just as I would get excited, they'd stop.
Which led to crying spells and walking. Lots and
lots of walking. I had many suggestions, ranging
from "Go jump on a trampoline." ~ "Go
have sex." ~ "Take a hot bath."
My personal favorites started with "My labor
started when I_____" [insert anything from
taking an enema, drinking cumin seed tea, relaxation
techniques." Some were just plain asinine.
I tried them all.
I was "officially" 19-22 days overdue.
I was tired & frustrated thinking about the
possibility of going into labor. I worried about
the size of the baby. I would stare at my husband's
head nightly, and think "That is the reason
I'm not in labor. The baby's head is too big and
it's stuck."
I had thoughts that my body was "broken".
That because my 1st labor was induced, I somehow
ruined my chances of going into labor naturally.
After having the epidural, episiotomy, induced,
coached pushing, vacuum-extractor, strapped to
machines birth with my 1st, I wanted something
different. I wanted a homebirth, but the state
I'm in, the closest midwife is over two and a
half hours away. (And wouldn't answer any questions
without my making an appointment. I didn't want
to make a five hour car trip.)
I felt the best case scenario would be to wait
until the last possible moment to arrive at the
hospitals and have the nurses "help".
They just wouldn't have time to call the OB I
had been seeing. (To call him a chauvinistic,
lying, control freak would be a compliment.) Then
I had the crazy idea, that if it came down to
it, I could have it at home. Just my husband and
I.
I had considered this possibility for months.
My mom's labor with my last sister lasted 23 minutes.
She had lots of false labor with her, too. Maybe
I'd be lucky and have a similar (short) one.
After talking to many women who had done it themselves,
I became confident I could do this, too. I was
obsessed with all of the "what ifs".
But to my surprise, I found out birth is normal.
Women have been giving birth for hundreds of thousands
of years without the "help" of the almighty
doctor. (And that doctors actually contribute
to complications, rather than help.) My great-great-grandmother
gave birth to my 12 pound great-grandfather in
her bed, with a pelvis she had broken just the
day before, falling over a woodpile. This is the
"stock" I come from. My baby couldn't
be too big for me to deliver...
Enjoying our "baby belly" a month
before Ella's birth
Anyway, I laid in bed that morning, feeling the
tightening sensations. They weren't any different
than the "false labor" I had been feeling,
so I thought I couldn't be in labor. It
didn't hurt. When my husband's alarm went off
around 6am, he jumped up to hit Snooze. I hugged
him when he got back in bed and asked him "Do
you think you're ready for another baby today?"
"WHY?!? Are you in labor?" he asked,
waking up all the way.
"I'm not sure. I might be."
With that, he jumped up and called his boss to
tell him I thought I might be in labor and he
wasn't coming in today. I thought it was cute
for him to be so excited and nervous. I figured
the "labor" would stop, and he'd have
a free day off and we could go to Wal-Mart and
get some snacks later.
We cuddled until Hannah woke up. I got up and
made her breakfast & cleaned up the house
a little. The "tightenings" didn't require
any attention, really, so I ignored them. Well,
secretly, I was getting excited and hoped they
would keep on. I put some clothes in the dryer
and got on the computer to write and tell my mom
and a few others I thought I today might be the
day, but not to get excited. (I had felt like
this many times before.) I noticed the contractions
were coming every 5 minutes. (I wasn't concerned
because I had had some before, during all of my
"false labor" that had caused me to
breathe harder and really concentrate through
them.) I still wasn't sure this was the real deal.
I started playing a game on the computer. About
10 or 11 I couldn't really concentrate on the
game and would put my head down and breathe saying
"Ok" over and over again. I guess I
was reassuring myself I was in labor. I wasn't
as uncomfortable as I had been with Hannah, so
I figured I would wait until I was miserable before
I declared myself in ""real labor".
I just felt like being alone at this point, so
I got off the computer and told Chris to watch
Hannah. I got in the shower and let it run on
my back. I felt no relief. I felt like I was having
a really bad period. I'd actually felt worse than
this on some of my periods. I wasn't in "real"
labor. I sat down in the tub and let the water
run on my back and felt a little bit better. I
closed my eyes and breathed. Hannah came into
the bathroom and wanted to jump into the tub with
me. I really just wanted to be alone, and told
her so. She sweetly said, "Okay, Mommy."
and asked me if I was all right. I told her I
was, and she said she wanted to watch TV with
"Guy". (Her name for "Daddy".)
Thank God.
I figured I was in labor then, because I felt
very antsy. I felt like running away from my body.
I got out of the shower & went to tell Chris
I was definitely in labor and that I was going
into the room to take a nap. I went into the kitchen
for some water, and a contraction hit that made
me crawl on the ground. I started praying to God
that they would stop. Chris came in and tried
rubbing my head to make me feel better. I told
him to please not touch me. I felt a bit of tingling
on my cervix, so I knew it was changing. I apologized
after it was over. I told him not to worry about
me, and that I was going to go and take a nap
and to keep Hannah out of there. He must've thought
I was a madwoman.
I went into the room and rolled around for a
little while, but couldn't get comfortable. I
had a few more contractions that felt like my
cervix was really changing. I was afraid to hope
that it was really changing. I went into the bathroom
checked to see if I had my "bloody show"
yet. I didn't. I thought I still had tons of time
to go.
I got back into bed and noticed it was around
11:30, and got kind of mad that I was missing
my soap opera. I knew if I went into the living
room, my daughter would maul me. I turned on Jewel
and sang through some of the slower songs. "Hey,
I can sing, I'm not in the final stages yet."
After the CD was halfway through, her voice started
to get on my nerves, so I slapped the OFF button
as hard as I could. All of a sudden, I felt like
I had to go to the bathroom. I waddled in there
and sat on the toilet and went. "OH, thank
God!", I thought. I heard of women mistaking
that feeling for the baby's head. When I went
to wipe, I had a major contraction that made me
moan. "Oh no! I can't have the baby in the
toilet!" I wiped. I noticed bloody streaks
on the toilet paper. I got so excited I thought
thought, "THIS IS IT! MY BLOODY SHOW!"
I tried to wipe again, and had another contraction.
Tried to wipe again, and another. I didn't want
to leave the toilet without wiping. I really didn't
think I was that close. Just out of curiosity's
sake, I hurried and washed my hands. I checked
my cervix I thought felt a huge balloon of water,
and knew I was almost completely dilated. (I could
still feel a trace of cervix.) I felt a rush of
panic. How was I going to get Chris into the bathroom
without yelling or sounding like I'm in pain?
I didn't want to scare Hannah, either. I sat on
the toilet, trying to get Chris into the bathroom
with a psychic connection. I just looked out the
window at the trees blowing and thought, "Please
come check on me. Please, please, please."
I felt this bearing down contraction where my
body just took over. My water broke in a huge
splash into the toilet. I felt the baby's head
lower. I stood up, and looked in the toilet and
saw that the water was clear. I looked up before
another contraction hit, and noticed Chris standing
in the doorway. He asked me if I was all right
I thought I couldn't answer him. I couldn't breathe.
My legs were shaking violently. I had one hand
on the wall and the other on the sink. I was amazed
by the pressure I was feeling. I was in awe that
my body was pushing by itself. I'm sure he was
scared.
I told him, when I had the chance, "My water
broke." And he said, "Okay, come and
get on the bed." I told him I couldn't. That
I hadn't wiped, and I wasn't getting up until
I wiped. I tried again, and another huge pushing
force went through my body. He told me not to
worry about wiping, that he'd wipe me. "You
can't have the baby in the toilet." He told
me I'd have to get up when the next contraction
was over. They were coming seconds apart. He stood
in the doorway telling me I was doing a good job.
I could feel that he wanted to touch me, but I
had been swatting at him every time he tried.
I think he felt helpless.
He went into our room I thought pulled the comforter
off of the bed, leaving only the plastic sheet.
"As soon as this one is over, I'll help you
into bed."
I told him to hurry, and he grabbed my arms.
I had another one, I yelled "DON'T TOUCH
ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" As soon as that one
was over, he helped me onto the bed. I started
crying because I hadn't wiped yet. He ran and
got baby wipes and cleaned me up. He got towels
out of the closet and put some underneath me.
I felt the baby's head coming lower with each
contraction. My body was pushing on its own. I'd
never felt that sensation before. And although
it hurt, I was excited. I could feel my body working.
I felt like screaming out with joy, but let out
deep moans instead. I kept thinking about all
the other women in the world who were doing this
very thing... who had done this and who will do
this. I felt so close to them all.
I apologized to Chris for having to clean me
up. He told me not to worry, because it wasn't
like I could hold it in. I was on my hands and
knees. I looked behind me and saw that Chris was
watching to see if the baby was coming yet. I
begged him not to look at my butt, so he came
to where my head was. In between contractions
he hugged me, and rubbed my head. I was getting
discouraged, because after every contraction was
over, I could feel the baby's head slip up. I
started crying and told Chris I couldn't do this.
He told me I am, and will do it. He told me I
was doing a good job. He said, "Just think
of it as pooping. Sometimes it slips up, but eventually
it's going to come out." I felt like laughing
hysterically I thought crying at the same time.
Hannah came into the room I thought had a water
bottle. She handed it to me and made me look at
her. "You awight, Mommy?"
"Yes."
"Here's a gink. You feel all better, now."
[gink=drink]
I pretended to drink and another contraction
hit. I concentrated on not making a sound. She
asked Chris is I was all right and he told her
I was. After the contraction was over, I told
her she was missing Blue's Clues.
"Oh yeah! Bye mommy!" and off she ran.
My body kept pushing and I was grunting. I felt
the head coming out, all wrinkly and soft. I got
on my knees and asked Chris is he could see the
head and if he wanted to feel it. He said he could
see it, and then I yelped, "Ow! It burns,
it burns!" Chris reminded me that was a good
thing. I could feel her head lowering and lowering.
I didn't push. I felt a little more of the head,
but knew something was holding it back. I talked
to the baby, which I had "felt" was
a boy. I kept saying, "Come on, little guy....
come on. I can't wait to see you." I laid
on my back I thought felt inside myself. I could
feel, what I think is called a "cervical
lip". I remember hearing doctors and midwives
saying "With this next contraction, I'll
hold it back and you'll have this baby."
It was worth a try.
I felt another pushing sensation and lifted the
lip and felt her slip even more. I got back on
my hands and knees, again. I suddenly felt like
I was going to rip in half. I panicked and told
Chris, "I'm gonna rip!" He told me it
was okay if I did, so I just let go and relaxed.
Another contraction hit and I didn't care whether
or not I ripped. I grabbed a towel, without thinking
and applied a lot of pressure to the front part,
where I felt the most likely to rip. I felt the
baby's brow, and knew it was coming. Chris went
around to the back of me, and I heard Hannah come
into the room.
Chris told her, "The baby's coming. Do you
see the baby's head?"
"Oh, you caca the baby head, mommy!?!"
I told her I was, and she kissed me and ran off,
saying "Okay, I go see Blue! Bye, Mommy!"
She had this "Been there, done that"
attitude about it. (We had watched so many birth
videos, read so many books and had been told numerous
times "The baby is coming soon." I think
she was bored with the idea.)
My body started pushing again and I felt her
head pop out. Chris said, "The baby's head
is out, but the chin is stuck. His mouth is wide
open." It didn't really compute. I ripped
off my nightgown so I could have immediate skin
to skin contact with my baby. (It's weird how
completely dream-like it all feels, but how lucid
your thoughts are.)
Another contraction hit and I felt the head come
completely out. I felt the baby struggling inside
of me, wiggling and turning. It felt like Chris
was yanking at the head, so I said, "Don't
pull him!"
"I'm not... I'm just holding on so he doesn't
fall out."
I relaxed and could feel the baby turning and
kept chanting, "Turn baby, turn... come on
sweet little baby..." Then I felt a release,
and a gush of fluid. Chris said, "The baby
is out." But I could still feel something
inside of me, which were the baby's feet. The
cord was wrapped really tight around the back
of her neck and when he unwrapped it, he told
me to turn around. I was breathing heavy I thought
felt such relief I thought kept saying "Oh
my God." I couldn't turn around yet. I heard
a little squawk. I asked him if it was a boy or
a girl. He told me he wasn't sure, but that I
needed to hold the baby. I maneuvered around the
cord, and picked up my slimy little baby.
Ella's First Picture
I felt so euphoric. I started crying and rubbed
her little fat face and arms, and said, "My
little baby. Oh my baby. You're so perfect! I
waited so long for you." I held her for a
little bit, until I stopped shaking. I peeked
and saw she was a girl... We were POSITIVE that
this pregnancy had been a boy. (Chris was so sure,
he spent all day calling her a him.) I said, "It's
a girl! Hannah has a sister!" and kept oohing
and ah-ing over my perfect little baby girl.
She was very calm, and wasn't really crying.
Her feet were a little purple, and so were her
hands. She was breathing, so we rubbed her back
and feet until they were more normal looking.
Chris got me a clean towel for the baby. I covered
her up and talked to her, and kept telling her
how happy I was that she was here. Chris got on
the phone and called my mom. I was so in awe of
my perfect little baby and didn't really notice
until he asked me if I wanted to talk to her.
I told her the baby looked a lot like my sister.
Then an afterpain hit, and I told her, "I'm
feeling really uncomfortable. Talk to Chris."
and threw the phone towards him. Chris hung up,
and we sat on the bed, for what seemed like forever,
for the placenta to come.
I worried that after all of that, I would have
to go to the hospital to have it removed. Chris
looked up "placenta" in the Emergency
Childbirth book we have, and he told me I had
5 minutes to HOURS after the birth. I relaxed.
The phone rang and it was my sister congratulating
me. She asked me how long it took to deliver the
afterbirth. When she found out I hadn't done it,
yet, she hung up saying she'd hurry over. (But
not before laughing at me and calling me a "hippie"
and telling me she knew I'd done it on purpose.)
I wanted to wait until the cord was completely
white before cutting it, but I couldn't stand
having her attached to me any longer. I told Chris
to hold the baby while I tried changing positions.
We tried that for a bit, but when I'd move, it'd
yank the cord a little I thought I was afraid
I'd give her a hernia, so I told Chris to go get
my scissors and cut the cord. It only had a little
bit of blood left in it and had stopped pulsating
quite awhile back. We cut tied off and the cord
about 7 inches from her body.
I tried to get up on my own, but was really shaky.
Chris made me a huge glass of chocolate milk and
I drank it. He helped me into the shower, and
about 3 hours after Ella was born, the placenta
came out. It was encased in the amniotic sac.
It had a little hole that Ella must've slipped
thorough. I broke it open, and made sure it was
still intact. It was. I told Chris to find a container
to put it in. He ran around the house, not sure
what to get. I suggested a Halloween Happy Meal
bucket. Hannah asked me "Another baby, Mommy?"
I told her no, that this was what fed the baby
when she was inside of me. She looked a little
confused and asked me if I had "owees"
in my pee pee.
Chris helped me get dressed and helped me into
the living room, where I sat and enjoyed my little
family. Hannah, by this time was really curious
about the new baby. She has been ever since. She
can't hug, rub or kiss the baby too much.
Hannah holding Ella for the first time
After all of this, I know I could never give
birth in a hospital again. I had so much freedom.
There were no doctors telling me what was "allowed"
and what wasn't. No one took my baby from me for
"observation". I got to enjoy her immediately.
I rubbed her gently, instead of the harsh way
they are touched in delivery rooms. I was able
to listen to my body and feel its awesome force.
I was able to prove to myself that I wouldn't
grow a baby "too big" for me to push
out.
I know this is how God planned babies to come
into this world and I'm so glad that I had this
opportunity. I had the people in the room who
had originally created her when she was born,
and I can't imagine anything more Holy or beautiful.
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