Must not be claustrophobic or uncomfortable in confined spaces.
Must be able to fast [go without food] for long periods of time.
Must be happy to share one bathroom with at least six others.
Must enjoy sleeping on a mattress covered with rubber or plastic.
Must not have a rebellious or questioning nature.
Must accept the possibility of contracting antibiotic resistant hospital infections.
Must be confident with caregivers who are overworked and overtired.
Must realize that a limited amount of time can be spent in a hospital bed before it is needed for the next patient coming in the door.
Must like and trust electrical equipment.
Must be comfortable with a cesarean rate of 1 in 4.
Must realize that the doctor seen in pregnancy may not be on call at the time of birth.
Must accept that the mood of the nurse on duty will be a large determinant of the birth outcome.
Must realize that the written birth plan may be ignored.
Must be willing to have her husband treated like an extraneous idiot.
must be willing to have fluorescent lights turned on at all hours.
Must be capable of birthing without making loud noises.
Must look good in a flimsy blue gown that is open at the back.
Must be willing to be a teaching subject for student doctors learning to do pelvic exams and suturing [stitching up episiotomy wounds for example
Read more from Gloria on her Doula Course study group on BirthLove.
* * *
Following are hospital births of all kinds,
by a vast assortment of women; from joyful and
positive, to searing and wounding beyond comprehension.
For the women in pain: "The wounded
soul must be allowed to tell its story."
-Benig Mauger
For cesarean and vaginal birth after cesarean
stories (hospital and home), go to this
page. Especially see- "At
least you have a healthy baby"- women
are told this, as if their pain and brutalization
don't matter.
Victorious and "not
that bad" hospital and birth center births
"If I had known it was going to be so
easy I would have stayed home."
"Contractions started around Noon on
July 31st. They were strong enough that I
couldn't sleep through them. I called my midwife/friend
and told her what was going on. We chatted
for a while and I had her time the contractions.
When we got off the phone they were 6 min
apart. I called my husband and told him something
might be happening but that he didn't need
to hurry home or anything.They continued but
didn't get too strong. I did have to find
ways to distract myself. I so wished I could
sleep.
"My husband came home around 5pm or
so and we ordered pizza. Contractions were
getting stronger and I started having to concentrate
and find positions that helped me get through
them. I was starting to get crabby and wanted
to get into the birth tub, but it was taking
a while to fill. So I did a lot of hands and
knees, birth ball, and standing leaning on
the table to get through them.
"Around 10pm I was so tired and just
wanted to rest. My contractions spaced out
and I thought things were petering, so I lay
down to get some sleep and dh stopped filling
the tub. At 11pm things picked up again and
we continued on. I spent a lot of time on
the birth ball until the tub was filled.
"I found the tub to be great in between
contractions but not during. I preferred the
birth ball for contractions. Around 1am things
started to get unbearable and no position
was helping. Still hadn't called the midwife.
"Finally around 2 am we called her,
but I was just about out of my mind by then
the pain was so bad. We knew that Isabella
was posterior and I didn't know how much longer
this was going to go on. Around 3 am I said
'We are going to the hospital because I can't
take this anymore!' lol I was in transition
and didn't know it.
"We arrived at hosp around 4:20 Am and
I had the baby about an hour later. It only
took thee pushes to bring Isabella out. If
I had known it was going to be so easy I would
have stayed home. oh well! I will know better
next time. :)
"In all, labor was 17 hrs and I labored
at home with just my husband for almost 16.
I hope I will stay home for the whole thing
next time." -Vicki
Griffith
Paul's
Birth Story Patricia Blomme shares the story
of her first child's gentle, happy hospital
birth- the birth that launched her on a lifetime
of learning and passion about birth issues.
This links to all of Patti's other stories-
including a vaginal breech birth, and her homebirth
of her twins! Includes many sweet photos.
Beautiful
Hospital Birth A doula writes in with her
experiences of a first-time mother's birth;
the mother was empowered, strong, and for the
most part, left alone. This was Katie's most
satisfying birth to attend yet.
Hospital Victory
"I just came from an ecstatic birth
at the hospital last night. I just had to
share this AWESOME story. Basically this mom
was diagnosed with MS [multiple sclerosis]
in 1999, and after all the allopathic stuff
[conventional medicine] made her worse, she
changed her life and now has been symptom-free
for 2 1/2 years. No flare ups in pregnancy-
nothing.
"She went through a tough labour. It started
about 43 hours before she gave birth and ended
in an unmedicated, beautiful birth. She was
incredible! In fact the whole floor of nurses
and doc were in awe of her strength. Baby was
posterior and stuck OT during pushing. She had
it all. But she was so committed to her baby
that she was one of the most amazing things
I've ever seen. In hospital with drugs all around,
she steadfastly showed her womanhood and came
through her rite of passage in the most amazing
way. Needless to say, today, she feels pretty
strong! What a woman." -Sarah,
doula
'Miracle
baby' born at Wilford Hall Jessica's water
broke at 16 weeks pregnant; the doctors gave
her baby a 1% chance of survival, and recommended
termination of pregnancy. Jessica refused to
give up, and astounded everyone when her amniotic
sac resealed at 24 weeks gestation. She went
on to give birth to a perfect full term baby
girl.
Cathi Wimmer's
Birth Stories In Cathi's first child's hospital
birth she realizes what she does and doesn't
want in future births. A victory in the experience:
refusing to let a gruff nurse touch her; and
being physical about it as well. An interesting
note: she went from 4cm dilated to 10 in under
half an hour. This includes her homebirth stories:
one child was born with midwives attending,
her other was born unassisted.
Tatiana's
Birth Holly gives beautiful birth at the
birth center after a long early labor; she tells
her story with much humor and love. She went
on to have two homebirths, and one hospital
twin birth.
Ana's
Birth Christina was planning an unassisted
birth with her second child- in an effort to
heal from the trauma of her first birth. She
went through a very long and intense labor at
home, and then transported to the hospital when
things seemed beyond her ability to cope with.
What came was a gentle, respectful hospital
birth- mere moments after she walked in the
doors. Includes photos.
My
Story as Doula and Mother Katie is a doula,
and a mother of four (with one baby in heaven).
She shares her birth stories here (all powerful,
victorious hospital births- including a double
footling breech hospital birth!) and her journey
to becoming a doula at age fifty.
The
Birth of My Angel- Gabriel Lacey discovers
empowerment as a midwifery model in the last
weeks of her pregnancy; she uses her newfound
power to refuse medical treatment, and goes
on to catch her own baby as he is being born
in the hospital shower! Sidenote: note how the
hospital staff works to undermine her victory
afterward: her baby doesn't look "right"
and "needs" treatment, and her placenta
"needs" managing" by her doctor.
Both were doing just fine without medical help!
Includes photos.
Young
and Naive- A First Hospital Birth Melanie
gives birth in her late teens to a baby boy.
Despite the epidural and irritating staff, she
feels that it was a pretty good birth. This
links to her later birth stories. (all homebirths).
Birth
Elation Margaret shares the victorious,
amazing, wild and free birth she had with her
third child in a Saipan hospital, as well as
the wounding births she had with her first two
children. Included: how visualization helped
immensely in her third's pregnancy and birth.
Sara
Nicole's Birth Story In this incredible
story, Sherry catches her own baby in the hospital,
with the help of her gentle CNM. This includes
Sherry's thoughts about the birth, three years
later.
Birth Story
Diane transported from home just before birth-
there wasn't time for the staff to intervene.
Miriam
Ruth, Big and Beautiful Sarah's second birth
was attended, in turn, by two remarkably kind
doctors (some of the nurses left something to
be desired though...) Her wishes for the birth
were respected, and she was able to labor in
freedom.
Emily's
Birth Story After having troubles with
infection with her previous two home-borne
babies, Emily has a pleasant hospital birth-
although found that her baby's confinement
to the NICU was needless. Includes links to
her other birth stories.
The
Birth Story of My Third Child Denise was
planning an unassisted homebirth, but decided
to transport literally at the last minute. She
had a good birth- but still regrets her decision.
Includes links to her other stories.
Margaret's
Happy Birth Mama Helen stuck up for her
rights and autonomy- and had a peaceful, powerful
hospital birth. A VBAC story.
We Believed
in Birth Amazing, victorious, spiritual
birth story- the mother is saved from a c-section
by her connection with the massive, beautiful
female body wisdom of birth. Includes a photo.
Morgaine's
BirthA happy hospital
birth story, where the mother was nurtured and
respected. A joy to read.
Patti's
Birth Story A dialogue between a student
midwife and a midwife about her hospital birth
experience (and how she came out of it unscathed).
My Birthing
Story, by Karen Ratcliffe. Karen, in
British Columbia Canada, talks about her pregnancy,
and her unbelievably busy trip to the delivery
room! Karen welcomes email correspondence.
Having a good hospital birth
"I once met a woman who
described her lovely birth in the hospital with
her first baby. With no doula or midwife involved,
she stayed home till she was 8 cms, went to
the hospital, gave birth over an intact perineum.
I couldn't believe it- I hardly ever hear that
good a story. When I asked her how she did it
she said, 'I stayed at home until I no longer
wanted natural childbirth. When I couldn't stand
it anymore and wanted a cesarean, I went in.'
I've told a lot of women that story and it's
so true. Don't go to the hospital if you are
at all in a positive mood!" -Gloria
Lemay
Letter
from Allie Allie's first birth at fifteen
was a very difficult, painful experience for
her. But her second birth, at twenty, was given
in power- and with no interventions.
Induced and drugged
births
For Cytotec (the induction "wonder
drug") birth stories, go to this
page. For induction dangers, go here.
And note that many women in the "Birth
stories from women who've had all sorts of hospital
birth experiences" section (here)
and "feelings of deep violation" (here)
had labor inductions. Also note that most of
the women on the cesarean
birth stories page had inductions of labor
that ended in cesarean section.
Darian's
Birth Sheila was only seventeen when she
conceived Darian- a conception that her doctors
were amazed at since she ahdan't had a period
in over a year due to her severe anorexia nervosa.
Darian went on to be born at only 23 weeks gestation.
This story includes much of Sheila's experiences
and feelings surrounding the birth, as well
as photos of little Darian.
My
Son's Birth Story Jessica, while satisfied
with her son's birth center birth at the time,
now finds such sadness and regret at the drugs,
isolation and circumcision her little son had
to bear. She is researching unassisted birth
for her second child. This page includes photos.
Failed induction (in a failing system)
"I have a son who is almost 6. I was
very young (16) when I delivered and was very
uneducated. I was 10 days overdue (or so they
said... I was never exactly sure on my dates)
so I agreed to let them induce. They did so
by breaking my water. I labored on my own
for about 8 hours and I stalled at 5 cm for
only 2 hours!! They said I needed pitocin
so they started me on a drip. A few hours
later they increased the drip and I couldn't
handle the contractions any more. They were
so much worse. I got an epidural and about
5 minutes after the babies heart rate dropped
to 80 and wouldn't come back up so they took
him c-section. It was awful. Very traumatic!!
"I sure wish I would have known then what
I know now. I was in bed all day. Wasn't allowed
to walk or even sit up for too long. They had
all the internal monitors on the baby so I was
stuck in bed. I know now that I would have been
able to deliver vaginally had the circumstances
been different. I am now HAPPILY married and
I have a wonderful midwife and very supportive
husband. I am looking so forward to this delivery.
It will be so much different. I never would
have considered a home birth EVER before I met
my husband. Both of his sister-in-laws have
their babies at home so the more I talked with
them the more interested I became. I think it
is so sad that most women will never be educated
on the subject and will always think that 'managed
Labor' is the only way." -Amber
Finding strength that drugs can't give
"It is SO hard to get
women to realize that all these routine epidurals
aren't necessarily a good thing! I gave birth
to my son 3 years ago unmedicated, and have
another child on the way now (I'm at 31 weeks)
and while I do NOT look forward to labor again,
I certainly am not even considering drugged
birth as an option. At my last child birthing
I used a combination of herbs and a couple of
Aromatherapy blends I made up. Granted although
I was in a LOT of pain, the Aromatherapy helped
me relax in between contractions, I made it
through the pain and my baby came out like he
was supposed to (no interventions, or even episiotomy)
and was a healthy pink color when he was born.
Also I realized if I could do that... I can
do anything - I found a strength in me I never
knew I had before (I am woman, hear me roar!
*LOL* ;)" -Chris
"How can I have informed consent
when I'm lied to?"
"I read Dr. Sarah Buckley's
article about epidurals. In it she says-
"During my first birth, my anesthesiologist
flat-out lied to my face about this. He could
probably tell that if I knew drugs would get
to the baby, I wouldn't have the epidural.
Then he wouldn't get his fee. So he lied to
me and told me that the drugs DO NOT get to
the baby. And people wonder why I think the
medical establishment does not in fact have
anyone's best interest at heart but their
own? He obviously conveniently forgot his
Hippocratic oath when he decided to become
a money-grubbing, baby-hurting, lying SOB.
And informed consent? Ha! When was I given
the chance for that, with doctors lying to
me right and left?" -Jennifer
Moeller
Taylor
Moore's Birth Story Lisa was pursuaded to
have an epidural in her birth, and was one of
the women who are known to become paralyzed
from epidural use.
The
Pitocin caused her placenta to abrupt (come
off the uterine wall)
"My second baby was born in a hospital
by an emergency cesarean. I went into labor
8 days before my due date, April 7th. I woke
up to pee around 12:30 on the morning of March
30th and my water was leaking. I thought my
labor was going to be fast because I had a
baby before. I immediately started to have
contractions. I called my doctor and she told
me to go ahead and come to the hospital. Now,
I wish that I could’ve just stayed home
and labored if I knew what was going to happen.
The last four hours of my labor I started
to get a sharp pain on my right side of where
my ovaries would be. That was around 4:00pm
that same day. I had been in labor for approx.16
hours at this point. The nurses told me that
it’s probably pressure from the baby
moving down. I knew this wasn’t right
because it was constant. I had gotten an epidural
a long time ago, so why was I feeling this
pain?
"Well, come to find out after 4 hours
of being in pain, my husband demanded someone
to find out about this pain. I was having
a separation of the placenta also known as
placenta abruption. So, they prepared me for
a c-section. Came to find out later that the
nurses had given me too much Pitocin, and
that made my uterus contract very hard. I
felt everything because at one point, the
epidural needle had slid out of my back. The
contractions were unbearable. Luckily, my
baby was okay after much stimulation to get
him going and I didn’t die from bleeding
to death! Never again will I give birth in
a hospital, I said to myself. I had a beautiful
baby boy to be thankful for that he had survived
being in my bloody womb." -Karen,
from Joseph
Robert's Birth Story
Jen's Birth
Stories Jen tells both of her stories on
this page; and her transition from trusting
young mother to wizened young mother is obvious
and apparent.
Kaylie
Ashton's Birth Story In her second birth,
Sherry has awful pain due to her Pitocin induction,
then humiliation and mishap due to her epidural.
Despite all this, she bonds beautifully with
her little girl- and so does her son, Christopher
Jeffrey.
Christopher
Jeffrey's Birth Story In this typically
managed first birth (Pitocin, internal scalp
monitor, epidural, episiotomy), Sherry only
finds the bonding she needs so dearly with her
baby once they are finally left alone.
My Journey
to Truth... Kaare lets her heart and words
run wild as she recounts her daughter's induced
birth. Such pain she has, and went through...
but such power she has grown from her pain (see
her links at the top).
Catherine’s
Birth, A Learning Experience Sarah's doctor
induced her because she asked him to. And while
the birth went well, she regretted almost immediately
asking for the induction. Includes links to
her other stories.
Ysa's
Birth Raw, real and deeply moving, this
story tells about Christina's first pregnancy
and birth: a sad roller coaster of "caregiver"
neglect, and outright cruelty and stupidity.
Despite how sad the story gets, it is a joy
to read- Christina's writing is a pleasure.
This includes a picture.
Bearing
Witness: Amanda's Birth Gretchen acted for
the first time as doula for a friend choosing
hospital birth- and what an intense, emotional
journey that was. This should be read by all
women planning to not give birth at home; it
will help them prepare well in advance for the
best possible hospital birth outcome- it illustrates
that finding good labor support is critical
in avoiding a particularly difficult experience.
The
Story of Jill's First Birth Jill was 45
weeks pregnant when she gave birth to her first
child. She had an induction, which led to a
lot of pain- but she learned a lot from the
experience. Note that Jill's doctor was uncommonly
positive about "postdates", and that
her ten month baby was very healthy.
So you want an epidural?
"I sat in the toilet 'dilating'
some more, wondering out loud to Gloria between
sensations how on earth women who had epidurals
had any idea what was going on in their bodies,
and how I wouldn't want any such anesthetic
or procedure that took me away from what I was
feeling. How would I know how to have my baby
without these feeling? Low down deep and stretching,
guiding me into an altered consciousness, deeper
into an ancient trance state of surrender. I
understood in that moment what women give up
at the door of the hospital, access to their
most intense and sacred selves." -Nane
Jordan, excerpted from Danaan's
Birth Story.
Dorothy's
Story Dorothy talks about her induced hospital
birth, and how she feels women are punished
for wanting their births and their babies to
be left alone.
Induction drug nightmare
"My daughter suffers from severe seizures,
they aren't controlled, she is drugged up
all the time and she has developmental delay.
It's possible that the induction drugs used
on me (or any of the other drugs for that
matter or the forceps) caused my daughters
challenges. It was Pitocin and a prostaglandin
cervical gel.
"They are talking about surgery and
I don't want them to cut my daughter- I'm
scared. I still haven't come to terms with
the way she is, she's 3 1/2 now and I'm still
grieving for her. Perhaps if I can find out
once and for all whether she was damaged by
her violent birth I could finally come to
terms with it.
"They tell me she was born
with her condition, and I couldn't have done
anything about it. YES but I had the drugs BEFORE
she was born. None of it adds up, I feel like
I'm going crazy." -Lisa Wilson. Note:
to read Lisa's birth stories, go here.
Note that many women in the "Birth
stories from women who've had all sorts of hospital
birth experiences" section (here)
had forceps or vacuum extractors used in their
births.
Gosia's
Birth Kasia ended up with forceps due to
being perptually flat on her back, and unable
to control the lower half of her body (due to
the epidural). She is planning a homebirth with
her fourth child. This includes links to her
other stories and a response from LLM.
Jacob's
Birth Lauren's first child was born amid
lies, cruelty, and senseless violence. His rough,
drugged treatment nearly killed him. Includes
photos, and links to Lauren's subsequent birth
stories.
Joshua’s Birth
Story Karen's first birth was drugged and
interfered with, and she had a gruff, unkind
doctor. She's grateful her baby was well, though.
Renee's
Story Renee had planned a homebirth with
a midwife. She ended up in the hospital. As
a result, her baby had a broken clavicle and
a severe hematoma due to the violence of his
vacuum birth, and Renee had a butchery of an
episiotomy repair that has permanently marred
her vulva.
My Birth
Story Angie had her baby "sucked out"
by a vacuum extractor- and she suffered badly
because of it.
Tyler's
Birth Story Kathy shares her sadness over
her son's birth, and how she seemed to be punished
by the OB and the nurses for having wanted a
natural birth. What was her punishment?- Pitocin,
a "monstrous" episiotomy, forceps,
not being allowed to hold her baby just after
birth, sugar water instead of colostrum, so
on. Visit Kathy's webpage.This birth story is good to read if you
are planning a hospital birth.
Letter
from Jennifer Dreams of a gentle Bradley
birth went awry as hospital staff react in fear
and aggression.
The pain of her birth just keeps going on
"I was so scarred after
the birth of my son 18 months ago, after a home
delivery got transferred after 24 hrs of 'failure
to dilate'.
I ended up with a huge episiotomy and my
son was delivered via vacuum extractor (the
most vile inhumane instrument I have ever
seen), ended up with a hematoma and aspiration
of meconium, and a broken clavicle. He had
to go to sick kids in Hamilton, Ontario for
3 days. My midwife said it was the worst birth
she had ever been to, and that if ever a C-section
this would have been it. The Dr's only question
before leaving me alone for 8 hours with an
oxytocin drip was 'how much did you and your
husband weigh at birth', as if this would
be an indicator of how big my son was. We
both weighed less than 7 lbs and my son was
almost 10lbs at birth.
"I remember when they flopped him on
my stomach for a fraction of a second and
he was so big and blue, and I remember thinking
is he dead, then of course they whisked him
away to shove tubes etc. down his throat,
and made him lay crying and whimpering in
an isolette for 12 hrs, giving him nothing
but a soother to ease his pain. They never
even told me if it was a boy or a girl.
"As you can see I am still not over
the terrible hurt inflicted on him and I,
but I am looking forward to the next one.
I have been trying to get pregnant for the
last 6 months, and come hell or high water,
next time I WILL get my intervention free
homebirth!!! I just have to!!" -Renee
Hallman
Megan's
Birth... My Sadness Megan was killed by
forceps in her birth by an incompetent physician.
Sarah is heartbroken. This page includes a poem
written by Sarah's father for Megan.
Not Leaving
Birth Up To Chance Andrea Genung shares
the story of her first child's birth. She is
training to be a childbirth educator, and wants
women to have empowered, informed, beautiful
birth experiences. To see what happened with
Andrea's third birth,go here.
Cristobal's
Birth Story Lori suffered a lot at the hands
of indifferent attendants... but is overjoyed
with her baby regardless.
Birth stories from women
who've had all sorts of hospital birth and birth
center experiences
My
Birth Stories Christy's first hospital birth
was drugged and with an episiotomy she didn't
want or give consent to; her second hospital
birth was an absolute dream- she gave birth
practically as soon as she showed up. This includes
Christy's unassisted homebirth story with her
third, and the story of her friend's homebirth
that she attended that gave her the confidence
to birth at home on her own.
From an English Midwife
"My 4 births were relatively easy. The
first was born in a GP unit called 'The Shrubbery'.
I was probably labouring all day but had no
idea. I went for an antenatal check and my
blood pressure was up. I was sent to the GP,
I arrived at 18:00 hours and was routinely
given an enema and shaved (UGH!). At 18:20
my waters went I suddenly felt the contractions
which were 1:2 and felt that I was being cut
in half. Anthony was born at 19:50. Andrew
was born in just under an hour in hospital.
I was fully dilated when I got there, but
was still shaved and given an enema and had
my waters broken.
"With Katie they had stopped the practise
of shaving and enema's but I'd had a hind
water leak and they induced me and Jamie's
birth was induced. I had pethidine with Anthony
10 mins before he was born because I said
I wanted to push and the midwife looking after
me said that I couldn't possibly want to push
and gave me 150 mgs of the stuff but I didn't
ask or consent to it. Ant was born and I wanted
to go to sleep! I wanted to breastfeed but
they gave him a bottle that first night but
they didn't ask me. I was shaved and given
an enema but wasn't asked. I wasn't asked
or given any options with Katie after the
hindwater leak.
"All these things made me want to become
a midwife and hopefully offer women in my
care a better service. I feel very strongly
about empowering women, about giving them
the confidence to ask for what they DO want
and refuse what they DON'T want. Midwifery
is a very intimate profession and the very
first vaginal examination I did made me feel
like I had invaded the woman but I had to
learn and at least I asked permission. But
then I wondered, do women give permission
because they feel they have no option? Now,
working in a birth centre I see the women
antenatally and discuss everything with them,
adding that they have the right to refuse
anything. It's wonderful to see women take
charge of their pregnancies, labour and birth.
I love to advise women of their rights and
see them exercise those rights. I hate to
see women having stuff done to them when they
don't know why it's being done or have given
permission for it to be done in the first
place.
"Having a baby is the most
beautiful experience, and babies are so precious
and special that it is our duty as midwives
to make sure that the experience is everything
that the parents could wish for. Maternity services
in this country are free on the National Health
Service, that doesn't mean it has to be second
rate." -Gail
Fiona Dionne's Birth Stories
Nyssa's
Birth Nyssa was born at the birth center,
with her big sister Sandrine watching on.
Includes photos, including one amazing image
of Nyssa moments after being born born in
the caul.
Sandrine's
Birth This birth story was originally
a letter to from Fiona to Leilah; it is informal,
warm, and friendly. Fiona talks in part about
how perineal massage caused her to tear in
her birth center waterbirth. Includes photos.
Jessica's Birth Stories
Andrew's
Birth Jessica shares the story of her
first child's pregnancy and birth; how the
baby's father deserted her, but how she then
met the man she would marry. Jessica had a
big episiotomy, but the staff left her alone
for two hours after the birth.
Alexis'
Birth Jessica opts for an induction at
38 weeks, and goes on to have a birth she
deeply regrets: with painkilling drugs, another
big episiotomy and indifferent, callous hospital
staff.
Ashton's
Birth Jessica gives birth, finally, without
drugs or scissors at the birth center; this
birth leaves her feeling empowered and informed.
This also contains the story of Jessica's
sad miscarriage.
Audree's
BirthJessica shares the amazing story
of how she disciplined herself to grow beyond
needing "help to "get things going"
in birth; she trusted her baby, trusted herself
to have her own best birth play itself out.
And- that's exactly what happened: she gave
birth within four minutes of arriving at the
birth center after an idyllic, peaceful "first
stage". Note that she is very small in
stature.
Amy's
Hospital Birth Stories Amy had one natural
birth, and one cesarean before she went on to
have two homebirths with midwives attending.
Cori Saville's Birth Stories
Alex's
Birth Story Cori had Alex at sixteen.
Despite her wonderful health, she had a deeply
traumatic third stage of birth- due no doubt
to the impatient "management" of
her placenta.
Scarlett's
Birth Story Cori's second child's birth.
The epidural led to terrible cold headaches
and a cold spine for many months afterward.
Harrison's
Birth Story Cori gives birth to her third
child, and meets a young male doctor who actually
trusts her to be ready to push without checking
(unlike the women attendants in the room).
Jeremie
Jr's Birth Cori gives birth just fine
(albeit with a lot of pain due to a posterior
presentation, and an episiotomy done that
she did not consent to, and is terrifically
scandalized by now)- the trauma came after,
with grossly lamebrained "care"
in the NICU.
Kim's Brave
Voyage to Unassisted Homebirth Kim suffered
so much in her hospital births... with drugs,
surgery, cruelty and medical negligence and
stupidity. But with her 7th child's planned
unassisted homebirth, she finally gave the birth
her soul had been searching for.
Jesse's Birth Stories
Kieran:
Little Dark One; Fighter...
This is the story of her first baby's birth-
he had a punctured and partially collapsed
lung after his birth due to medical bungling.
Babies are not born with lung wounds; they
are caused by aggressive ventilation. Jesse
tells the story of her son's birth and difficult
early days with incredible honesty and love...
I am grateful to her for sharing it on this
site. Includes photos.
(Note that meconium staining is little
reason to clamp the cord and snatch the baby
away for intubation. Leaving the cord to pulse,
and the baby to clear his own airway, is the
most prudent course of action. If the cord
is not cut, the baby does not gasp for air-
and there are no aspiration problems. Babies
can get mucus, fluid and meconium out on their
own, if left alone with their mothers in warmth
and privacy. Read an OB's
comments about how hasty cord-cutting
can injure the newborn. Also note that a medical
student actually was doing the intubating
on Jesse's baby...)
Donovan's
Story Jesse talks about her journey through
her second pregnancy and birth, from conception
to postpartum. Included: how her baby "rooted"
for the breast perfectly, and her initial
desire for a homebirth- and how her OB called
the CPS on her for it!!! (Moral of the story:
don't ask your OB about homebirth. S/he will
become very defensive.) Photos added 7/29/02
Amber's
Story Amber talks about her first child
was born gently in the hospital, but her second
child was not.
Jamie's
Story She's been through almost every hospital
birth experience imaginable.
Denise Sachs' Birth Stories
My
First Birth Experience - Having a Tizzy FitDenise talks about her first birth- how
she wanted lay midwives, but found them to
be prohibitively expensive "medwives".
She ended up going to the hospital, and suffered
for her choice. Densie talks about her ex-husband
too.
Denise's
Second Birth Denise is back at the hospital-
and stuns all with her amazing capacity to
endure pain. In both birth stories, Denise
speaks so eloquently about what she knows
now- and wishes she knew back when she was
having her hospital births.
The
Baby That Never Was Denise talks about
her miscarriage, and how she heard vastly
different ways it should be dealt with by
different doctors.
English
childbirth experiences, and responses by
LLM and a British childbirth activist.
A woman writes about her difficulties with British
midwives and hospitals.
Becky's
Birth Story Becky talks about the homebirth
of her first, and the hospital births of her
subsequent 3 children. Includes photos.
Rachel's
Story Rachel talks candidly about the births
of her two children- how she narrowly missed
a moron of an OB with her first, and how heartbreaking
the birth of her second in a military hospital
was. She is planning an unassisted birth with
her third child.
"I believe that episiotomy is a primal
mutilation of the first chakra, the Root.
Cesarean section mutilates the second chakra,
also the Triple Heater point in chinese medicine,
and the Dan Tien of Quigong. Anatomically
the perineum is very significant too, as the
gathering place for the figure 8 layers of
tissue that harmonize the pelvic area to the
legs, the tailbone at the back and the pubis
at the front.
"The episiotomy forced upon me during
the birth of my first baby was a brutal message
to my whole being. It didn't heal until I
had another baby, birthed over it, intact,
at home, six years later." -Aliss
Terpstra
From an English hospital midwife
"I was caring for a first-time mum.
After an hour of pushing, the doctor came
in and said, do an episiotomy. Now there was
no fetal distress, and there was still stretch
left in the perineum.So I refused, stating
my reasons.We had words in front of the patient
(perhaps not very professional), and with
the woman's 'consent' he went ahead an did
a HUGE cut, three snips with his scissors,
and he kept cutting till the head literally
fell out. I doccumented all this in the notes,
and he decided to have a 'paper war' He also
got the sister in charge, and asked her to
accompany him to ask the patient if she wanted
to complain!!! The woman was just happy her
baby was there, she didn't care.
"So now there is a woman walking around
with an episiotomy cut literally into her
buttocks, 5-6cm [2 - 2 1/2 inches] long that
took FOUR packets of suture material to repair.
Apart from stabbing the Dr with his scissors
what else could I have done?" -Linda
West
Samuel's
Birth During and after her first birth at
seventeen years old, Jennifer was brutalized
and traumatized. To read Jennifer's other birth
stories, go here.
Letter from Cindy...
"Thanks for your powerful
story 'Rape of the
20th Century'. You put many things
in a perspective I had somewhat considered,
but was not so good at articulating.
"I am a first time mother with a 16
month old son, Dylan. The birth process
I went through to bring my beautiful, cherished
son into this earth DID feel like rape.
It happened so quick; and I felt out of control.
And even with a prepared Birth Plan, when
itcame time to actually delivering my son,
we did it how the hospital and doctor wanted
it.
"As I write to you, I am in the process
of preparing for my fourth attempt at repairing
a rectovaginal fistula [gap in the wall
between vagina and rectum- discussed in Rape..20th]
caused from a breakdown in my episiotomy.
After the 2nd fistula repair attempt failed,
my surgeon performed a loop ileostomy, which
I still have (going on 8 months). Having failed
three times using a conservative approach,
for this upcoming surgery, the surgeons will
be attempting to reconstruct my vaginal wall
by pulling the pubis rectalis muscles (aka
- the "clenching muscles") around
to reinforce and build up the completely deteriorated
wall. If all goes well, I should
be fully recovered in about 6 weeks.
From there, they will reverse my ileostomy,
and I can get on with my normal life activities.
"It has been over a year since my child
was born. It goes without saying that
he is the light in my life! But that doesn't
dismiss what HELL my doctor put me through.
I did say, "thank you" (as you stated
in your story) after my son was born, but
didn't quite realize what damage was done
until I arrived back to my house.
"My sexuality was definitely invaded
and violated. And now, any future children
will have to be delivered abdominally. In
one slice of his knife, my doctor took away
my choice and pleasure of delivering my children
vaginally!
"Thank you AGAIN for your beautiful
writing and web site. You have touched me
in a way I never imagined. You have fueled
my efforts to not take this laying down...
you have truly inspired me... and for that
I am glad." -Cindy
Letter from Sue to Leilah
"I already found your site to be a wonderful
resource, but I was so relieved to see an
article about anal incontinence and episiotomies.
[See Rape..20th
and this BMJ
paper.]
"It has been over two years since the
birth of my son, and I still experience anal
incontinence occasionally. The first time
it happened was 6 months after childbirth,
and when I contacted my OB/GYN offices, the
nurses could barely maintain professionalism,
and I was already terribly embarrassed. Rather
than linking it to childbirth as I did, they
claimed I had a bacterial infection that was
causing it. I went for the testing and of
course, there was no bacteria. So it just
went unexplained. I realize that people as
a whole relate their illnesses and health
issues to something all the time. So of course,
when it started happening, I linked it to
childbirth. They say this is incorrect, and
inconclusive, it couldn't be that.
"Thank you for linking to this article
on your site. It is a comfort to know that
I am not crazy, and also that there is research
being done, hopefully it will lead to the
cure which would be that women are better
informed about the risks and ultimately women
not allowing this procedure to be done to
them at all.
"And just for the record,
I had a drug-free full term birth, and had specifically
requested no intervention."
Feelings of deep violation
Lorrie's
Letter to her old OB Lorrie's twins' hospital
birth (story is linked from letter) was assaultive
and cruel. After six years of writing this letter
in her head, she not only writes it but sends
it. Lorrie doubts the OB will actually read
the whole thing, but MY didn't it feel good
to write and send- and doing so has provided
healing from her birth, and preparation for
her upcoming homebirth. Included: how her birth
experience changed the course of her life- once
an elementary school teacher, Lorrie is now
a childbirth educator, midwifery student and
natural birth activist.
Peter's
Birth Story Susanna, an ER nurse, entrusted
the medical establishment with her care in first
pregnancy and birth. The "care" she
went on to receive however was so callous, unethical
and dehumanizing that she is planning on leaving
the nursing profession altogether. Note that
her sweet little boy was born with his cord
wrapped around his neck twice (with no complications
due to this), and an incomplete unilateral cleft
lip (no palate involvement).
"After the surgery was
over, two of the nurses were cleaning me up
and left to get me a clean gown or something.
There was a moment where I noticed that I was
all alone in the operating room, stark naked
head to toe, legs spread.. I looked over to
the door and noticed there were construction
workers in the hallway. I was still paralyzed
from the epidural and couldn't even move to
cover my nakedness. It was very embarrassing
and I'm mad at those nurses for leaving me exposed
like that."
My
Voyage to StrengthRoberta from Italy
shares her three birth stories; in her hospital
birth, she finds stupidity in her treatment
(the amniotomy- surgical breaking of her waters-
and then the forced pushing of a baby who hadn't
descended could well have resulted in her cord
prolapsing and her baby dying), and stupidity
in breastfeeding "help" as well. This
includes her homebirth stories, and photos.
Bela's
Story Rachel was transferred to the hospital
out of her midwife's distrust in the birth process.
In her unplanned for and unasked for hospital
birth, Rachel found stupidity, impatience and
pointless humiliation. Included in her story:
how her baby was accidentally poisoned by her
midwife at two weeks old, and the path to healing
that she took.
Rape and
Recovery Brandy felt raped in so many ways;
now she is paying a midwife to care for her
properly.
Elias'
Birth Story Anne (who lives in Denmark)
is still dealing with her feelings of anger
and sadness over her coercive, interventionist
birth.
My
Daughter's Traumatic Birth Nicole was treated
like a naughty child by the hospital staff,
and was drugged and cut even though she had
plainly stated throughout her pregnancy that
she didn't want such intervention. She now lives
with the pain of being brutalized so intimately.
My
First Baby's Pregnancy and Birth Story Kimberly's
birth was nothing like she planned it to be:
dreams of a gentle homebirth went asunder as
she was betrayed by her midwife, then "used
as an example" and lied to by the hospital
staff. This includes lots about her pregnancy,
and about her daughter as a child.
Less than human
"I never have known such cruelty, pain
or fear of death but I certainly learned in
the hospital's labor and delivery ward. I
was confined to bed (at 3 cm) and subjected
to horrible drugs (against my will), invasive
procedures (against my will) and treated like
I was a filthy subhuman." -Christina
"I know all too well what you have been
through. {{{hugs}}} I suffered horribly with
PTSD after my last 'birth.' I still have trouble
processing the consent question. I was very
clear about what I did not consent to... but
none of it mattered. To them I was not human.
That's the thing I think people really don't
realize until it's too late. When you are
a pregnant woman and you walk into that L&D
unit...you are no longer a human being in
your own right. You are a dangerous and nasty
'vehicle' for the 'real' patient...the baby.
So anything they do to you, in their view,
is entirely justified....up to and including
attempted murder. As long as they have a 'positive
outcome' meaning a 'good baby'. Only after
they 'remove' your baby do you become the
patient once again... and then sometimes only
barely." -Elphie
Madelynn's
Birth Jennifer's second baby was born in
the car- a joyful, triumphant birth. The trauma
was waiting for both her and her baby at the
hospital, though... To read more of Jennifer's
birth stories, go here.
Rapes;
No Less... Two women talk about the deep
pain they met in their hospital births.
From rape to bliss
"My first birth was a humiliating, degrading
hospital experience where I was shaved, given
an enema against my protest and made to labor
on my back. I refused any medications because
I wanted a natural birth. I cannot tell you
the countless people that stuck their hands
in my womanhood during the height of my labor.
I was made to feel humiliated and ashamed
of my sounds- the doctor basically said I
asked for this agony because I refused pain
drugs. They were impatient to get the baby
out- I begged to move in to a different position
or at least for my legs to be released from
the stirrups- I was denied these things. A
nurse practically sat on me to force the baby
out because I refused to push without the
involuntary urge of a contraction to guide
me.
"My first birth was painful and quite
violent- they may as well have shackled me
to the wall. I vowed that the rest of my births
would be at home.
"My second was at home.
I labored for 16 hours and pushed for three.
While my 2nd baby was 2 pounds larger (12 lbs.),
I did not have a third degree tear as with my
first. I labored in open positions and the shower,
and I was a vocal as I needed to be, because
I had to stretch pretty far to birth my beautiful
son. But it was done in my own space and in
my own way- my husband supported me while I
squatted to birth the head. I am now expecting
my third and plan to have many more, all at
home, in the same bed where I conceived."
-Kristen DiStefano
I remember...
Annie has traced a lifetime of pain back to
an original pain: she has remembered the hunger,
terror and bitter isolation of her own birth.
She bravely and eloquently shares not only her
experiences of pain; her healing, her beauty,
and her dreams for the future shine through
in this piercing, written-from-the-heart piece
as well.
Modern
childbirth- Romance or Rape? Jenny Hatch
describes her first birth experience- how in
many ways it was a victory, but in others, was
crass molestation.
Letter
from Cherrie Cherrie talks about how a hospital's
screw-ups with her 3rd baby have made it so
she never wants another hospital birth again.
Articles and BirthLove Columns
by LLM about hospital birth
About
Hospital Birth, to the ICAN Email List Gretchen
talks about some of the cruel myths regarding
the "safety net" that hospital birth
provides, and speaks of how women can really
empower themselves to "keep their power"
in a hospital birth.
By Helaina Burton:
Keeping
Dressed to Keep Your PowerHow one can go from being a "patient"
to a "woman" in the hospital, with
all the power and autonomy that the word implies.
After five hospital births, I'm not a big fan
of them. Note that many other columns speak
about hospitalized birth; the following ones
are primarily about hospital birth.
In Honor
of the Hospital Midwives (5/1/00)
Gratitude and love for all the women who help
and nurture women and babies in their hospital
births; in honor of International Day of the
Midwife- May 5, 2000.
The
Hannah Study: A Breach of Reason (6/25/01)
This large trial has given doctors license
to do eradicate vaginal breech births internationally.
And this is a shame, because the study is
just terrible.
Dr.
Barton Says Home Delivery is Child Abuse
(4/9/01) In saying so he is covering up the
incredible abuse that happens to babies in
their hospital births. Also- a word of warning
to midwives.
Happily
Restrained in a Pyramid of Pain (3/26/01)
Anesthetized women are used for medical students
to learn rectal and vaginal exams on. Do women
care? Do they want to know about anything
other than "my doctor says"? What
will it take for all of us to wake up to our
own oppression and suffering?
Brutalized
No More... (8/20/01) Pelvic exams hurt
a woman- right to the core, down to the soul...
especially if she's had past sexual abuse.
Also: women must be very careful with
what happens with their childbirth photos!
"But
I Loved My Hospital Birth!" (4/3/00)-
is a statement made in ignorance and sometimes
hostility of superior birth alternatives,
and is the end result of doctors' success
in brainwashing childbearing women for their
own gain.
Regarding "Doula unto others":A Response
to Martha's Sweetness (11/27/00) Oy! This
woman (big shot at Microsoft) calls doulas
sweet and cheesy. Actually... her childlike
trust of doctors and drugs is.
A
Letter to Doctors about Childbirth(10/31/00) Forward this to every doctor
you know. It explains what birth really means-
and how it should be attended.
"Women
are Dying Needlessly in Childbirth"
(6/29/99) A retort to an OB's ignorance of
the role of modern obstetrics in maternal
deaths; the role has been sometimes fatal.
