Oak Loyer: The Birth of My Brother
-by April
Taylor
Probably one of my earliest memories is of my
brother being born at home. Oak Loyer was an 11
lb baby, born a month after his due date. Here
is the story of his birth- first, as recorded
by one of my mom's midwives, Wendy, then I talk
about the birth, then my does, from her diary
entry.
Midwife Wendy's Account of the Birth
April 8, 1979
"Daybreak - Patti rings at 5 AM "Come".
Almost predictably, Judi's waters broke spontaneously
in a clear gush, around midnight (hours before
she was going to take the castor oil cocktail).
Figured the moon slipping into wings would do
it (almost all Judi's planets are there).
It's a fresh morning. Fertile rains fall. After
many sets of directions and redirections on how
to get there the road ends in a circle (symbolic,
rather) at their big old farmhouse nestled in
suburbia.
The kitchen is warm. Smells of cinnamon (postpartum
tea brewing).
Wander upstairs to the birthing room. Their bedroom
has a southern exposure. Lovely. Lots of warm
light on the bed and Judi in the center. Seems
she's lying in a field of flowers - the print
on the pillows, the quilt, her nightgown. She's
real gorgeous. Soft and calm. Letting it carry
her. Brian is at her side - watching her dance.
7 AM Internal - 3 cm. Nicely thinned.
Baby's head settling into the pelvis. I feel she
should get up and move around. She doesn't. I
begin to realize, Judi is one stubborn (or strong
willed) dame. Well then, how about a fleet? She
takes in 1/3 of it and shoots off to the loo.
This kid feels big to me - around 9 pounds. He's
all up front - down deep - everywhere - a belly
full of baby. Unfortunately she didn't get much
sleep the night last and she's going to need energy
to push forth this child.She dons her colourful
mexican blouse. Judi turns inward and glows -
oh, oh, oh, ooooh sounds come from deep inside.
Patti suggests the rest of the enema. "Nope".
Hmmmm... There's no pushing her around. SHE'S
STRONG LIKE A BEAR. She should be cleaned out
well to give this little giant all the room he
needs. I try and make her laugh but she's taking
it all quite seriously.
She's feeling some tenderness above her pubic
bone where the baby's shoulder protrudes. Her
uterus rises like a mountain (volcano) with each
wave.
Her braids, her flowers, her half smiles - earth
mama.
April is up and into the day. Happy sounds in
the kitchen. A caldron of soup being made. April
baking her baby a birthday cake. Debbie is hanging
out with her. April puts on her red party dress.
Her second change of costume so far.
9:30 AM Yikes- Judi getting urge to bear
down and pants to stay on top of them. Hope it's
not a full bowel. Baby definitely not posterior.
She can't possibly be fully dilated yet. Can she?
Internal - 6 cm (+1) YAHOO!!!
10 AM Still panting lightly. Do another
check. 8 cm! Well flexed. Judi is sailin'. Her
eyes are laughing. She's smiling at herself. Eek!
I love her! 3 midwives, 3 mothers, 3 friends caring.
We all pant in unison. "Ah, ah, ah, huff,
huff, huff" Feels REAL good.
She sits, centered like a glorious buddha under
the shade tree Brian painted on their wall.
Hot ginger compresses on her yoni.
11 AM Soft pushing commences. After a
couple pushes and no panting we have her squat,
which brings baby down. She's opening. Her tissues
are pink & healthy.
11:10 AM Head appears. Is this red hair
we see? Judi ordered a redhead.
11:20 AM The big beautiful head is out.
Rosy and handsome. Looks like a boy. Patti and
I are hashing on the likely size of the body to
follow this big head. Judi give a couple mighty
pushes. No shoulders. On to her hands and knees.
Next contraction - another yahoo push. Yikes.
Hmmm... No go. Baby getting blues. All our energy
focused. With next contraction Patti tries to
corscrew shoulders. Don't budge. I push on her
fundus and direct head downward. Ah, the white
skin of the posterior shoulder released, slowly
his body slips out.
11:25 AM A red head Sun-Son. Shiney eyes.
Connection. He's slightly dazed from the last
leg of his journey so all stimulate him. Welcome
him. Patti kisses his bottom and looks up with
meconium smile. I kiss him all over his face.
His mama and papa stroke him. Invite him. He pinks
up in a unique mottled fashion and sings to us.
He's a wonderful being. "Oak" - his
name is perfect.
Thank you guys for sharing...
The birth of your son... it was wonder-full."
love,
Wendy
April's Account of Oak's Birth
My memories are different then Wendy's. I was
2 years old, but just one month away from my 3rd
birthday. I remember feeling extremely anxious
because my strong mama (as I called her) was crying.
Everything was strange and unusual that day. So
many people there. I remember needing to hug her
and kiss her, and make the hurt go away, but one
of my mom's friends took me downstairs, away from
the fascinating tree room. My mom wanted to have
my brother under a tree, so my dad painted a huge
Oak tree behind the bed and up onto the slanted
ceiling. We baked my new brother a birthday cake,
and we celebrated a new baby in the warm kitchen.
The feeling of that day stays with me more than
actual facts. I remember going upstairs to see
my new brother. Leaving the aromatic kitchen,
going up the long narrow stairwell to the sunny
bedroom where my brother had just been born. Lots
of people, hugs, laughter and happy tears in our
little world. I'll never forget seeing him for
the first time. He had a big baldish head, and
had a red face like a shiney moon. Mom and dad
asked what we should name him, and I told them
"clown". He was silly looking. I loved
him fiercely, more than I loved my doll-babies,
and he was so much more fun. Much funner than
my unresponsive doll-babies. Mom said I immediately
thought he was all mine, and was constantly leaving
him alone on the couch, and chairs, like I did
with my doll-babies, and she was sure he was going
to roll off and crack his head open some day.
The day he was born is imprinted in my memory
like a pressed flower. I had a BROTHER!
Judith Loyer's Account of her son Oak's birth,
as recorded in her diary
"My pregnancy was so much more pleasant
than with April. Lots of energy, exercise and
positive vibes. The last month felt long and anxious.
Midwives seemed over concerned to me (I since
understand their concern). I tried castor oil
3 times but nothing happened. On April 7th I went
to bed knowing the birth was eminent. I was scheduled
to do castor oil (2 oz) the next morning. Patsy
stayed over for the event.
I went to bed in the evening and woke with a
warm gush around midnight. I got up and lost more
water, soon after to find I was in early labour.
I tried to sleep but found the contractions and
excitement enough to keep me awake. I decided
to let everyone sleep and got up and spent some
time in the kitchen with some Ovaltine.
At around 3 AM Patsy who was was asleep in the
living room became aware that I was up and in
labour. Debbie came down shortly after and we
sat and became aware that it was really happening.
About 4 AM Patty felt I should try and sleep and
set me up on a chair in the livingroom. As soon
as I sat down they took off one on top of the
other. I wanted Brian, my bed, and birthing tree
room. We all went upstairs and I have a fog of
labour, midwives coming, April waking, breathing,
enema, pushing contractions too soon, panting,
bones separating, back pain, up on knees sitting
up, ah finally giving in, centering on a tree
post, let it open bones, no thoughts.
Internal time, fully with a lip a little push,
time to give birth.
Stand, squat by bed, Wendy strong energy. Patty
loving friend. Brian part of me. All working as
one. Susan warmth radiations love. Lyn April calming.
Babies head; back to reality; shoulders too big.
Hands and knees, pain; pop. Blue Oak baby - red
Oak baby sucking. Beauty baby. My family plus
one. Really together. All together."
Judith Loyer, 1998
My mom had non-hodgkins lymphoma, and passed
away in August of 1998. In her diary entry she
talks about her midwives wanting the birth to
happen sooner than later- I believe part of the
reason was because the baby was so big and my
mom was a very tiny framed lady. She was only
5', and had very small bones. Also, my mom was
very sick during both her pregnancies with me
and my brother. I know she had pneumonia, asthma
attacks, kidney stones, and a gallbladder attack,
but I don't know the details, or which pregancy
she had what, if not in both. -April
|
