The Sweetest Month
-by Kiley
Myers
Our first two children were born via unnecessary
and traumatic c-section, after long and unsuccessful
inductions.
When we were expecting our third, we were determined
not to let any of that happen. I didn't want anything
to do with any kind of induction, even herbal.
I was determined to let my body do it, however
it needed to do it, without any kind of interference.
40 weeks came and went. 42 weeks came and went.
People were asking my why "they" wouldn't
induce me, as if it was some great injustice that
I was allowed to still be pregnant. I explained
over and over again that there was no "they"
and one of the reasons we didn't have a "they"
was just so we could avoid that sort of intervention.
I knew another induction would mean another c-section.
It would probably also mean irregular and unnecessarily
painful labor. I knew it would put my baby at
risk of being hurt. If I hadn't gone into labor,
it was for a good reason. Maybe the baby wasn't
ready to come down yet. If we induced, maybe we'd
catch the baby in a difficult possibly dangerous
position, and he wouldn't be able to come out
normally. Labor would start when the baby and
my body were ready, and not before.
At 43 weeks and 4 days, after about 6 or 8 weeks
of daily prodromal (preparatory) labor, it was
time. Charlie arrived, covered in vernix, a pound
lighter than both of his brothers. He didn't look
at all overdue. He didn't have much in the way
of body fat, like you'd expect if he were overly
ripe. When my waters broke spontaneously there
was no meconium, just lots and lots of vernix.
Well, that is what happened on the surface. Something
else was happening deeper. My husband and I had
been wrestling with how we wanted to birth, how
we were going to get it all through the pregnancy.
We had quite a bit of conflict about it early
on. As we got closer and closer to the birth,
we got closer and closer to each other. My husband
developed birth instincts that many women would
envy. We became deeply in tune with each other.
Together, in our most intimate time, we began
labor. At one point as we neared transition in
labor, he looked into my eyes and saw that I was
dangerously close to losing it. Indeed I was about
to beg for transport. He told me I was doing really
well, and that I could do it, and put me right
back on track before I could even embarrass myself
by saying it.
That last month was the sweetest time our marriage
has ever known. It began something between us,
a sympathy and depth, that we never had before.
I don't know if Charlie needed that extra month,
it sure seems like he might have. But his parents
definitely needed the time to connect and prepare
to be his parents.
To read Charlie's birth story, go here.
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